I really don't like being a parent

(7 Posts)
user1495820541 Tue 06-Aug-19 14:18:57

Hope this is the right place to post; I am the father of a 7yr old boy and I hate it. He's a normal wee boy but I hate that he won't leave me alone or that he won't shut up.

I've never really liked it and while it has gotten easier I still feel the same. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP’s posts: |
UpsyDaaaisy Tue 06-Aug-19 14:24:27

If you hate it that much you don't have to see him, kids pick up on those kind of things and could actually do more emotional damage long term

Keykeche Tue 06-Aug-19 16:09:35

Parenting is hard.
And it doesn’t get easier.

I’m a mum of 3 plus 1. And sometimes I want to escape.
It’s normal.

I’m jealous of my child free friends, the freedom they have. I’m sometimes resentful towards my kids, that all our money and time goes towards them.
It’s hard. And emotionally challenging.

But, you can’t lock them away. And I adore my kids, even though it’s hard work.

What makes things easier:

1. Taking time for yourself. Doing regularly what you like. On your own.

2. Spending quality time with your son. Go to see an action movie. Go to the beach. Playground. Going on bikes.

3. Accepting the situation. It’s nit gonna change. You are blessed. You have a child. Fake it till you make it, if all else fails.

4. Establish what exactly annoys you. Rarely it’s the child himself.
Lack of free time? Money? For me, I realise, it’s money.
We just don’t have enough to lead a great life with 4 kids.
So steps are being made to increase income.
Maybe you need more cash. Maybe a babysitter once/twice a week.

Anyways, no judgement and good luck.

A88ie1 Tue 06-Aug-19 16:37:06

Hi there OP, Maybe you are on the ASD spectrum. My fiancé has the exact same thing, but tbh I get tired of the constant neediness also. Some of us just not able to care enough for kids to listen to the incessant whining and attention seeking. Don't feel bad. Just do what you can. So yes my fiancé is the same way and we made it so he only sees him once a week for 5 hours. He does what society says with the 5 hours and sends money above CSA amount. But he struggles so much.

Was a Oopsie trap baby too so maybe that is why? Was it planned btw? might just be a little residual resentment.

I've never really liked it and while it has gotten easier I still feel the same. Does anyone else feel like this?

user1495820541 Tue 06-Aug-19 21:25:00

Hi folks, thank you for your advice.

I'm not going to leave or cut contact. I think that would really hurt him. It would also mean his mum up and moving him away from his school, friends etc.

I would love to watch a movie with him but if we put anything on that isn't really gentle; eg twirlywoos he runs out of the room screaming. I would like to ride a bike or go swimming with him but but he has really poor coordination so he can't do that

I try to get time to do stuff for myself and it does help but he wants me to be doing something constantly with him and it does my head in.

Yeah, there is a bit of resentment. He was planned but it was mainly at my partner's instigation. We would have probably split up otherwise.

Thank you for listening. It is very much appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
alliejay81 Mon 12-Aug-19 15:39:33

Be kind to yourself. Children can be really hard work.

What does your son like doing? You need to find things he likes and that you, at the very least, don't mind. Board games, drawing, Lego, computer games, it doesn't really matter what it is. It matters that you are enjoying each other's company.

Fairylea Mon 12-Aug-19 15:44:32

How about a country walk / run about in the park?

7 year olds can be really difficult. They’re stuck between toddlerdom and preteen. I have a 7 year old - mine has autism as well- and it can be very tough.

You clearly love your child as you’ve posted here looking for advice, which is good. I think if your lower your expectations and try to get out of the house more just to burn off some of the energy he has it might make things easier, even if it’s not swimming or bike riding (yet), although just splashing about swimming without any real attempts at proper swimming is lots of fun for little ones.

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