We bought my daughter a mobile for her 11th birthday last November as she was walking to and from school and it was reassuring to know when she had arrived. In the last few months since SATS ended and they all became a bit giddy/emotional over leaving primary, it’s become like razorblades in the hands of monkeys.
She is getting into trouble by posting dodgy stories on Instagram and thoughtless comments on the class Watsapp group. I had spoken to her about this and asked her not to post anything she would not be happy for me to see. And we had a deal that I would be able to check it was being used responsibly at any time – she is starting at a girls school some distance away from her friends and was keen to still keep in touch with her old primary classmates AND make arrangements to meet up/chat with the girls she met on her high school open days so despite the fact them come from other towns, they won’t be strangers when they start in September.
But yesterday alone she posted ‘I’M PREGNANT…?’ on an Insta story, told the y6 class Watsapp group she wants to be a Gynocologist and to go and look up what it is, then messaged a friend accusing her of damaging make-up in her room and said that I was furious with the friend and would take it further. I actually spoke at length with my daughter over this immediately after it happened, allowed her to feel sad and disappointed but suggested that the friend had been thoughtless perhaps, but not evil and maybe just to put valuables out of sight and not leave friends alone in her room.
I do lots with my daughter - run, play tennis, watch films, facilitate playdate/activities with friends etc so she has a varied life away from her phone, but it’s not enough. She will take herself off when I’m cooking dinner and go on her phone, and while she can use it for the good, generally it’s a source of trouble.
Even for a bright girl, she doesn’t have the emotional intelligence at 11 to use it sensibly and her hormones are raging. I can’t stand over her 24/7 or occupy her every moment of the day, I feel like I'm Woody from Toy Story trying to stop Sporky from chucking himself in the bin.
So I have taken it away from her. She’s distraught and says she doesn’t want feel so desperate but she feels isolated and won’t have the opportunity to make conversation with her new classmates. I don’t want to return the phone to her as I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I’m torn as to what to do for the best.
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Phone Confiscation – Please tell me it gets easier!
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blueskysmiling · 30/07/2019 11:27
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