My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

DS (10) self-conscious about his facial hair

14 replies

CoffeeChocolateWine · 05/06/2019 22:52

My DS is 10 and has a bit of dark fuzz on his upper lip. He’s had it for a while but it never occurred to me that it bothered him. He befriended a group a kids on holiday over half term and one of the girls was really quite nasty to him about it...basically pointing it out and laughing, telling all the other kids to look at his moustache and then telling him to go and have a shave. DS was so upset and embarrassed about it and admitted that although no one has been horrible to him about it before, it’s something that he really hates about himself and wants to get rid of it. I told him that it’s a very normal part of growing up but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s self conscious about it, particularly after what this girl said, and wants it gone.

My DH stepped up by saying he’ll teach him how to shave but I just hate the idea of my 10yo shaving and I think it’s ridiculously young. So what can I do to help? Could I use a gentle hair remover on him or any other solutions? I don’t want him worrying about something that’s really not worth worrying about and relatively easy to solve.

OP posts:
Report
MrsApplepants · 05/06/2019 22:55

I’d let you DH teach him to shave it with supervision and make as little fuss as possible. Hair removing cream on the face of such young skin not a good idea.

Report
PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 05/06/2019 22:56

Won’t he have to be clean shaven for secondary school next year? I’d let him shave. It’s hard to see them grow up Flowers

Report
dementedpixie · 05/06/2019 22:59

He could try an electric shaver first

Report
FadedRed · 05/06/2019 23:01

Let your DH teach him to shave, or get him an electric razor, or one of those battery operated grooming sticks. It’s difficult enough being a prepubescent of either sex, without your Mum allowing you to be teased/bullied because she chooses not to recognise that you are growing up.

Report
Jamhandprints · 05/06/2019 23:06

Definitely let DH teach him to shave. It's natural and normal. Let him feel manly and grown up rather than embarrassed and awkward. Make it into a really exciting, positive thing for him. I work in a primary school and many boys love to stand in front of the mirror doing their hair, using their disgusting body sprays and things. It is pretty normal for at least 50%. Shaving is just another part of taking responsibility for personal hygiene, which is great. Doesn't mean hes grown up anymore than a girl starting her period.

Report
CoffeeChocolateWine · 05/06/2019 23:10

That’s harsh @FadedRed...I’m not allowing him to be teased/bullied! He’s been teased once about it, came to us upset and now we’re trying to help him.

And actually I haven’t explained my comment about hating the idea of him shaving...what I meant was that I’m worried that a 10yo is not mature enough to use a razor properly, I’m worried about him cutting himself and drawing even more attention to it, and I also don’t want him having to deal with the fact that it’s going to grow back more noticeable the more he shaves. I just wondered if there was something gentler he could use for a couple of years until he’s more capable of dealing with it properly as I don’t know any 10yo who shaves yet. I didn’t mean that I can’t cope with the fact that my PFB is growing up!

Maybe an electric shaver would be ok...

OP posts:
Report
SickOfBeingFat · 05/06/2019 23:14

He seems young for facial hair but let DH help him

Report
CoffeeChocolateWine · 05/06/2019 23:17

It’s a bit of fuzz rather than proper facial hair, but even though he’s got quite fair hair, the lip fuzz is quite dark.

OP posts:
Report
SimonJT · 05/06/2019 23:18

Shaving does not make hair grow back more the more you do it, otherwise imagine how much facial hair a man would have by the time he reaches retirement.

The top lip is the easiest bit to shave, he might cut himself a little bit, you soon learn how to avoid doing it.

Report
FadedRed · 05/06/2019 23:47

Yeah, it was a tad harsh, but your Op did sound a bit like you were saying he’s too young to need to shave.
Boots do a battery operated ‘de-fuzzer’ grooming tool that looks a bit like a fountain pen. It’s made for eyebrows/top lips etc. Costs about £18, and it very easy to use, very gentle on skin and you cannot cut yourself. Might be useful until his ‘proper’ beard comes in.

Report
CoffeeChocolateWine · 06/06/2019 00:10

Thanks for this...could be ideal.

OP posts:
Report
LoafofSellotape · 06/06/2019 00:17

Won’t he have to be clean shaven for secondary school next year?. Why ? Confused

Don't bother with that Finishing Touch thing,just get him a small electric razor.

Report
Lara53 · 06/06/2019 21:55

My DS is a little older at 12.5, but has started shaving as he is very self conscious of his lip fuzz. It has got darker and thicker over the last year, so he’s shaving about once a fortnight at the moment and much happier. Using an electric shaver

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.