Queen bee

[sharpstick]

My 11 year old daughter has always had a pretty good group of friends. They seem to be well liked, popular and all round decent girls. Obviously there have been squabbles but nothing warranting any more than a day to sort between them.

So, this year they have acquired a new girl to the group who has literally taken over. She is ruling them. Some girls she pulls aside as her chosen ones and won’t allow them to associate with the others, and the others (my dd included) she is really quite mean to.

This has been going on a while I now hear, but has only just come to my attention with my dd having had enough and opened up to me.

This girl not only splits the group and tells them in no uncertain terms that some of them aren’t good enough to breathe the same air as her, she takes some of their things and hides them, she tells stories to other children in the year about them, calls them hurtful names, snubs them publicly, I could go on. It’s asserting power all the time.

Unfortunately my dd is one of the main ones in her firing line and is being humiliated and made cry by this child daily. My dd and two others have spoken to the teacher, but this girl plays the victim and basically lies her way out every time.

They are taking their SATS this week and all my dd is worrying about is what this girl is going to do to her the next day.

I don’t know what I’m asking really, and I do have an appointment booked to see the teacher. Just wanted to sound off and ask if anyone else has been in this position and has it worked out?

All I worry about is that there was a dominant girl yr7 when I was at school, and although I didn’t hugely hang around with her, she would always pick on people (sometimes me) for entertainment and she didn’t change all through school, everyone was terrified of her. This girl seems exactly the same and I’m concerned that this is going to continue into secondary for my dd.

[MummyBear2352]

Normally I would say it’s girls being girls and leave them to it however if your dd is humiliated and made to cry on a daily basis then you need to go into the school and speak to the teacher as do the parents of the other girls.

[AllFourOfThem]

I think that when you see the teacher you need to leave the appointment feeling reassured that your concerns are being taken seriously and your Dd and the girl will be monitored. If not, there must be a bullying escalation process at the school so find out what that is and arrange to speak to that person (eg year head, assistant head, head etc) and keep going.

I was bullied and it was awful. I’m glad your DD was able to open up to you and you are being supportive.

[mcmen71]

My dd went through this in primary and sadly just sat by herself for the last 2 months of primary the school said they would speak to the girls but it only made it worse they said they had nothing in common with my dd anymore. One very hurtful incident that 4 years later I still remember they where all going to cinema and getting ready in a friends house we where out shopping for an outfit and my phone rang and it was the mum saying they where changing it to another day and would be in touch but later that evening the girls had posted photos of them all there except my dd it was so hurtful. It did carry on into secondary school and in the end this year she moved school to be with kids from her drama group and is much happier. The school will probably be all nice to you speak to the girl but I can't see her changing.

[LilQueenie]

forget waiting for an appointment. go in and demand to have it seen to now even if you cause a bit of a scene. Why should your dd and others be bullied while you have to wait.