My 9 year old daughter has always displayed tricky behaviour ever since a toddler. She has been prone to ‘meltdowns’ and unpredictable reactions to everyday situations. School initially was ok, but she made slow progress and often cried as soon as she stepped out of the door to come home. It would take up to an hour to get her out of the school gates, she was so distressed. She had frequent problems with soiling herself throughout year 1, which just stopped suddenly much to our relief. But by year 2, she was refusing to go into class. Year 3, was horrendous. She was withdrawn,m at school, spoke to nobody except at break and lunch, did no work, cried every day. Outside school she was having huge screaming rages, throwing furniture, grabbing knives from the drawer. We begged the school for help. She was referred to PCAMHS then on to CAMHS. A private child psychiatrist thought ADHD. Camhs have discounted this but we are waiting on a decision on autism.
She is now in year 5. She is desperately behind in her school work. Every day i battle to get her to school. She won’t get dressed, she shouts, she screams, she locks herself in the bathroom. She often says she’s ill, and I do believe the distress is making her feel ill.
The school say she shows no emotion at school, doesn’t engage, doesn’t listen, and only does work she can copy from the person next to her. My daughter says she has taught herself to withdraw so she doesn’t notice the loud noises, the people being too close, all the irritations that cause her to meltdown outside school. When she comes home, she shuts herself away in her room to calm down. At weekends she very reluctant to go out, and even somewhere she wants to go is often too much for her to process and can lead to a two hour meltdown.
School asked to see me last week. They said they feel they have failed my dd and are at a loss how to help. They have expressed a concern of how she’ll cope with secondary school, and said they honestly think it’s going to get worse, and I’ll spend every day fighting to get her there for her to learn nothing.
I really don’t know what to do. Even if asd is diagnosed, we are still in the same situation. I hate watching her struggling like this. She’s so scared of so many things - the wind, birds, bugs, all of which make daily life even harder.
I have 3 other children, a five year old boy, who just breezes through life, and two girls under two. I’m exhausted and I’m worried sick that her life is going to get progressively worse.
I’ve considered private school (simply don’t have enough money) and concerned home schooling will limit her even more to the house...
Any wisdom would be amazing x
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At a loss how to help 9 year old daughter
14 replies
Blonde4281 · 04/02/2019 22:31
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