DS (10) behavioral problems

[Trixiepixie6]

DS is 10 since June, in the last few months, actually it was over the summer, he has gone from being popular happy go lucky to a nervous wreck with no friends and about 10 different tics, it seems to have all progressed really fast. We can’t put our finger on what has caused it, I have a feeling it might have been something with his friends in the Neighbourhood, he doesn’t communicate with them anymore at all. we have an appointment with a child psychologist next week but I honestly don’t think we can even wait that long. He’s had 2 major meltdowns in the last week, they were frightening his sister 11 is scared as am I. Does anyone have any advice please? Has anyone been through similar? He is obsessed with soccer but it has become worse he won’t do or try anything else. Autism/Aspergers has crossed my mind but even if he has something like that I still don’t see how he has changed so much in just a few months. Thanks for reading.

[Trixiepixie6]

DS is 10 since June, in the last few months, actually it was over the summer, he has gone from being popular happy go lucky to a nervous wreck with no friends and about 10 different tics, it seems to have all progressed really fast. We can’t put our finger on what has caused it, I have a feeling it might have been something with his friends in the Neighbourhood, who he has no contact with anymore at all. we have an appointment with a child psychologist next week but I honestly don’t think we can even wait that long. He’s had 2 major meltdowns in the last week, they were very frightening for everyone, his sister 11 was so scared. Does anyone have any advice please? Has anyone been through similar? He is obsessed with soccer but it has become worse he won’t do or try anything else. Autism/Aspergers has crossed my mind but even if he has something like that I still don’t see how he has changed so much in just a few months. Thanks for reading.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Really sorry Trixie that he’s suffering like this. If he’s having meltdowns have a read of The Explosive Child.

Has anything changed in his life apart from not seeing his friends? Does he go to a new school or group? Do this coincide with someone new in his life?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Sorry, posted too soon. Maybe a new soccer coach?

Can you give him some coping strategies too. On anoth thread today a MNer said she’d put a punch bag and some weights in the garage, her DS uses those and comes back to the house much calmer.

There are some online CBT courses aimed at children which you could do together or he could do alone.

Exercise might be the last thing he wants but it will help. Does he play soccer? Could you encourage him to go for walks with you?

Make sure he’s getting plenty of sleep too. When my DD was 10 she was in bed by 7.45 pm in the week, she really needed it. Getting a good nights sleep should help him to control his emotions

Could you encourage him to meditate too, even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day? I use a guided meditation app but there are lots of apps and resources. I’ve heard the Headspace app is a good one.

[Trixiepixie6]

Thanks very much for the reply. He is obsessed with soccer would kick a ball all day long if you let him but plays on his own doesn’t interact with anyone around him. When the kids play a match he hogs the ball. He very seldom plays video games and if he does it’s only fifa, he spends very little time on the iPad, i havent seen him use either in a month. He doesn’t have a phone. He was so popular always a bit laid back but everyone seemed to like him, he was easy going and funny. Now he doesn’t interact with his peers, hogs the ball, keeps kicking it into the goal over and over with the same little ritual. He has about 15 different tics. He has scary meltdowns gets aggressive etc very hard to live with. We have seen the gp and they have referred to a multidisciplinary team but we could be waiting months for an appointment, there are very little services where we live. I just can’t get over the change in personality he has regressed, I’d understand more if this was something that started when he was younger and got better with time but the fact he was more or less fine and now he’s gone backwards.

[MeanTangerine]

With the suddenness of the change I would wonder if something has happened to upset him.

Have you spoken with his teachers? What is he like in school?

What do the meltdowns look and sound like? How long do they last? What has triggered them?

What are the tics?

Obvious question: has anything changed in the family set up over the last few months?

[origamiwarrior]

This was randomly in my news feed this week:

inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/people/autism-adhd-mental-health-problems-bug-thousands-misdiagnosed-pandas/

[Trixiepixie6]

Thanks for the replies. I read that article but he hasn’t been sick recently, rarely gets sick actually touch wood 🙈

I have spoken to the school, there was some shouting by the teacher directed at him (and other kids too) I have told the teacher that has to stop now he’s too vulnerable. He has been a little bit more relaxed this week but I think that’s because shouting has stopped in school and they are more aware now of his issues and have taken the pressure off with the homework , he just does what he can. But the issues are still very much there, he was out kicking his ball yesterday in his own world other kids wanted to play with the goal but he kept using it for himself oblivious to everyone else which obviously annoyed everyone and they left. He was always so caring considerate and great for sharing. I have racked my brains for anything that might have triggered it, I’m coming up with mad things like we got an extension to the house before the summer and our garden landscaped I’m wondering was it that the sudden change? A few tiffs the boys had while playing out the front in summer? Tiffs with his big brother? Did someone say something to him that we don’t know about and he has blown it up in his head? Did something happen in someone’s house? He won’t call for any of his friends anymore either and they don’t call for him.

The tics he has are, shaking his head, twirling, taking noisy deep breaths, shrugging shoulders, patting his legs, patting his chest, closing his eyes and feeling his way along, putting his hand vertically between his eyes, skipping on the spot more like jerky type of movement, clicking his fingers, cracking his knuckles/fingers, making a noise with his throat, so many.

I wish we could get him seen the system here is crap, they have to review his case I could be seen next week or it could be months. Private is probably not going to work he needs a team, people who can see him from different aspects as he might need medication it might neurological I don’t know, if we are to go private we just get to see a psychologist.

[MeanTangerine]

What does he say when you ask him how he is / if there's anything wrong / anything he's worried about?

[Trixiepixie6]

He tells mecthere is nothing wrong and to stop asking him, he gets very defensive when I ask him especially if I ask him about the friends on the road, has something happened with them etc