Desperate for help

[Minime85]

Hi, I really don’t know what to do for the best about my 10, nearly 11 yr old daughter who is currently having a very difficult time with health related anxiety.

She repeatedly asks the same questions about her health. These questions stay the same for a week or so and then become about another health issue.

It took a dramatic turn about 7 weeks ago where for 5 weeks she was fixated about a spot on her leg. In the end I took her to the doctors with concerns about her mental health and being unable to let these worries go.

She isn’t bad enough to be referred to CAMHS. I have tried a self help book. We do headspace mindfulness every day.

But she can’t let these ideas go. She is currently hysterical as I won’t answer her again about the same question I have already answered. I am trying to go down the route of not feeding the anxiety by repeatedly answering the questions.

I just don’t know what to do. She is in tears nearly making herself sick. Am I doing the right thing In ‘being cruel to be kind’ or should I just keep answering her.

I know I need to build her self resilience and I just don’t know if I’m doing the best thing or not.

[swizzlestix]

That sounds so stressful and worrying.
The website young minds is great and they have a parents helpline. I think that would be a good place to start.
You can self refer to Camhs which may be worth doing and if the referral doesn’t meet their criteria they should be able to signpost you to a different service.
Take care, there is help out there it’s just st finding it that’s tricky!

[swizzlestix]

Having read your post again it may well meet the ‘anxiety ‘ pathway for Camhs as it is impacting on her every day life and causing lots of distress.
Def worth doing a self referral or calling them to discuss.
Take care x

[ejk10]

I have worked for CAMHS for over 16 years and in my area you cannot self refer. However there is a single point of access (SPA) referral system so the GP refers and if the CAMHS threshold is not met the referral will be passed to another agency for help - usually cluster services run by School agencies.
However the anxiety symptoms you list are such that a referral to CAMHS seems justified - and possibly a CBT approach or mindfulness approach could be used.
I would go back to the GP and ask for a CAMHS referral - it is impacting on her daily life and family life and if left unchallenged with no intervention could get quickly worse.

[underoverunder]

I hope you find the help you need for your Dd. My county council has a young people's 'hub' which is a website which signposts parents or young people to help they may need. There are services other than CAHMS. Also, have you tried her school?

[deepsea]

As pp said.
A couple of other ideas might be to teach her/or take her to someone that can teach to properly meditate so when she becomes anxious about her health, she can use a breathing technique to bring calm and focus and rational thinking. It can be a very powerful tool if done properly to prevent panic.

Also every time she is worried she has some mantras to say to herself, first openly and then she can just run them through her head as she gets used to the technique. 'the spot on my leg is just fine and will be gone tomorrow' and repeat. Repeat until she feels calmer. You can do it with her initially, this is very easy to do. It doesn't work for everyone, but is worth a shot.

In terms of getting to the root of the anxiety, this is what you need to find out. What is happening to be causing this level of anxiety in the first place? Is she being bullied? Is someone hurting her? Has she been through a traumatic experience and needs counselling?

All the techniques become sticking plasters, but you need to found out what is underneath.

A self referral and a call to young minds will help you support her. Good luck

[deepsea]

found - find

[Minime85]

Thanks for everyone’s replies. Since this post things got worse in terms of what she was saying.

I phoned youngminds actually and they were very helpful. I am waiting for a call back which they provide from a health professional.

She said some more things which were scaring her so we went back to GP. He didn’t think there was an issue. No intention to refer. It feels frustrating that potentially because I went having done research and being proactive that the door was shut in my face.

It seemed to be because she is still going out of the house and socialising that she isn’t deemed bad enough.

We were already doing mindfulness with headspace and that is helping. I also have tried as a PP suggested about CBT and have some strategies in place re worry time and have found some resources about it being like a monster on a rope (the thought) so she needs to stop pulling the rope towards her, she needs to let go of the rope etc so it falls away.

When we go back to school I plan to speak to the school nurse service. Hopefully that will be more fruitful.

Thanks for all your help. I will look into other services available in our area. But I don’t think there is anything as I work in education myself in the same area and don’t know of anything.