Hi, I just need to vent a little as apart from husband I have nobody to confide in.
I have been part of a small post natal group for 12 years now as my eldest turned 12 last week. As she went through primary school it became obvious that she has problems with making friends. One of the reasons I sent her to the school was so that she would be with one of the other girls from our little group but as they got to yr1 the dynamic became my daughter desperately wanting the friendship of this girl and the girl starting to use the friendship to torment her because she knew it would get to her. This went on all the way through primary school and was worst in yr6. We regularly encouraged her to make other friendships and she tried but I think she had this idea in her head that she should have a best friend. To compound the problem I am part of this group and we do go places out of school time together which then became more time for this girl to torment her. It's very subtle, like making her 'it' every time and always catching her first in tig because they know she's the slower one. They seem small things but DD was getting really fed up so last summer I really restricted our contact and it was noticed but I don't feel like I can bring it up as it will split the group or at least make things very awkward. Now she has been in yr7 for almost a year and she is still struggling. This girl now is sometimes her friend and sometimes not. I hoped that she would make some more friends and she has really tried. We have had quite a few round after school but low and behold they start also to be moody or mean to her. This morning she asked my why nobody wants to be her friend. She never gets invited to other peoples houses and says that when she walks up and says hello that the other girls just look at each other and smirk. They don't involve her in conversation and don't value her opinion in any way. I'm just fed up with it all. I just wish she could find someone who actually values her. I tell her that she shouldn't rely on someone else for her self worth and happiness but I can imagine how hard it is if nobody seeks you out or is bothered about talking to you. She seems just to hang on the outside of groups. All of the others within our mum group seem to be getting on really well and I feel like I'm hiding this huge secret that my DD is actually struggling every day. I can't make other be friends with her and she can be hard work sometimes because she is uncompromising but it breaks my heart. We have always been on our own as our family live miles away so no aunts/uncles/cousins mums or dads to help. I feel isolated and not sure how to help DD
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.
Preteens
Daughter struggling with frienemies
29 replies
nikimummy13 · 29/06/2018 12:58
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.