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Reported to social services!!

(113 Posts)
rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:22:35

I confiscated DDs phone last night after she came back from her dad's because she was acting weird and was very distant. She wasn't very talkative this morning so we had a bit of a row, then this morning I had a call off SS reported from the school with my daughter saying I've smacked her legs!!!! I never touched her! She told them I had been drinking - I had one glass of wine with dinner. I'm so shocked, they now want to investigate me?!?

Luckyme2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:24:22

Were there marks on her legs? Is there a back story here?

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:27:00

No back story! No marks!! They can check themselves?!

Registryofficepanic Mon 19-Mar-18 13:27:03

My sister did this when younger. My mum had told her she couldn’t go out as she was naughty and she told school the next day that my mum had hit her and SS were called. God knows why she did It although she’s always been mental. Social services came round regularly but my sister soon admitted she’d made it up. Hope you’re alright. Teenagers can be assholes

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:28:04

I think all teenagers do this. The annoying thing is that social services believe them

Scabetty Mon 19-Mar-18 13:28:07

Let them investigate you. If there is no case they will close the file. If a child says the were slapped to a teacher they must pass it on to CPO.

Unforgiving2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:28:24

I don't understand why you confiscated her phone. If she was acting distant surely you would be worried about her rather than punish her?
Who reported you? Did you smack her?

Unforgiving2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:29:22

Oh I see above you didn't, I wouldn't worry then...

Scabetty Mon 19-Mar-18 13:29:28

My teenagers have never lied to-the school so that SS was called confused

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:29:37

It's horrible, I'm at work not veto concentrate, I wont see her until later, I hope she's told them it's a lie.

Luckyme2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:29:57

How old is she OP?

Astrid2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:30:19

@Unforgiving2 agreed. She wasn't exactly misbehaving? Teenagers can be very distant and non communicative, you've just got to let them get on with it. Hormones!!

blueskyinmarch Mon 19-Mar-18 13:30:46

I am a SW and used to work in child protection. This was a very common scenario i am afraid. Your DD will be interviewed by police and SW and they will ask her if she has bruises as proof. It is likely her narrative will be all over the place (there are built in checks in the process) if it isn't true. Also it isn't against the law to smack a child on the legs. Was there anyone else in the house at the time? What age is your DD? Hopefully this will be seen for what it is - your DD trying to get back at you for removing her phone.

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 19-Mar-18 13:32:19

As it’s a lie you should have nothing to worry about but don’t punish her for being distant, just let her know you’re there and you’re open to talking as soon as she’s ready.

Are you able to speak to her father to see if anything happened?

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:32:55

Why shouldn't I confiscate her phone? She knew the rules when I gave it her, she had installed some sort of VPN on it and I was concerned..

blueskyinmarch Mon 19-Mar-18 13:33:48

When she realises that she is likely to be interviewed in front of cameras by the police she might 'fess up and tell them she made it up. This is so commonplace but i understand how awful you must feel right now.

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:34:44

I have spoken to her father, it's seems she was feeling rejected as she wanted to stay with him longer.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:35:08

Well you can't confiscate her phone because it's her phone. And she'll ring SS every time you do.

And SS are so fucking stupid they think that this constitutes child abuse and will investigate you.

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:36:02

She's only 12

rabbitrabbit12 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:37:05

It's not her phone if I pay for it!!

blueskyinmarch Mon 19-Mar-18 13:37:26

Notsuchasmugmarried I think you will find that SS won't believe her every time and will likely give her a talking to if she continues to make false allegations. I have never told parent it was child abuse to remove a phone as a punishment. Not ever.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:37:38

All you can do is not pay for it. You can't actually take it.

Pidlan Mon 19-Mar-18 13:39:43

This sounds horrible, hope you're ok. But she must have been in a pretty desperate state of mind to do it- not making excuses for her. She was "acting weird", which you now know was upset at feeling rejected by her Dad, and then you punished her for that. That must be really hard for her.

BarryChuckle Mon 19-Mar-18 13:40:17

*NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1

I think all teenagers do this. The annoying thing is that social services believe them*

I don’t know a single teenager who did this.

Well you can't confiscate her phone because it's her phone. And she'll ring SS every time you do.

Seriously?! What planet are you on?

Luckyme2 Mon 19-Mar-18 13:40:35

"Well you can't confiscate her phone because it's her phone."

I completely disagree with this. She's 12. However, whether you should have confiscated it in these circumstances is a different issue. Maybe you could have had a heart to heart to her about why she was so distant etc. Having a 13 year old myself though I can imagine that might not have been met with a willingness on her part and the ensuing row could then have led to removing her phone.
All of that being said, I am genuinely shocked she has then lied to the school that you slapped her. Really hope it all works out ok for you. Then you should be having a chat with her about how wrong it was for her to do this. Good luck!

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