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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

12yr old DD - hair removal

15 replies

charx · 29/01/2018 21:38

Hi - My DD aged 12 (just) is well on her way in the puberty stakes (no period yet). Last year she started to wax her underarms, as she had quite a lot of dark hair and also to help with the BO issue.
However, now she is in Year 7 at a new school and is conscious of her dark facial hair on her upper lip. She has been teased about it, which saddens me. I'm really fair so never had to deal with this.
I think the ultimate goal will be laser - but think she is too young? Also I think that perhaps it might get better once the hormones settle down. But I don't want my sensitive DD suffering. I don't want her using chemicals.
Any thoughts? Thanks in advance

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FissionChips · 29/01/2018 21:40

Can’t she just wax it off?

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VegemiteToast · 30/01/2018 11:02

I was quite a fuzzy child, myself. My DD is, too. Trust me on this, the self consciousness and cracks in your DD's self esteem that willl result from teasing and bullying from some children wil significantly negatively outweigh any perceived effects of hair removal - whether that is via laser, shaving, chemical removal or waxing.

This is one thing that you can help her with, rather than leaving her to be susceptible to general childish awfulness at such a critical time where she just wants to be like the others. Good luck Flowers

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Dancergirl · 02/02/2018 17:06

I wouldn't advise laser even when she's older. It's a lot of money and the hair grows back!

Having it professionally waxed is the best option if she would consider that?

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TheDowagerCuntess · 02/02/2018 17:09

In an ideal world, we'd all be able to go about exactly as we are - rather than there be this bizarre fixation and expectation on women to remove their body hair. It's unfair, and it's wrong.

But in the meantime, nobody wants their DD in the firing line.

I was 11 when I first started shaving my legs, and it was purely because of social pressure, not because it was something I actively wanted to do.

I would either take her to get it waxed or threaded off.

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BackAwayFatty · 09/02/2018 22:11

Can relate with the dark hair - I always waxed as a pre-teen/teen but now go with threading. Better results & no redness

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Pinkponiesrock · 09/02/2018 22:20

I was that teen!
I’ve had ipl and laser, neither of which made any difference. Threading is horrifically painful but waxing isn’t too bad.
I’d go and get it done professionally, it’s a two minute job. I do mine myself but you have to commit and rip it off quick, best to get it done by a pro for a teen I think.

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Adelie0404 · 10/02/2018 20:59

Laser might not work for the reason that it only works on coarse hair. I think wax, ... then later bleach for what is left. Don't wax before school, it stays red for a while!

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PoeticLE · 12/02/2018 12:35

I have dark hair and a significantly fuzzy upper lip, right from the age of about 10. I suffered horrendous bullying in school as a result. My mum outright refused to allow any method of hair removal - not waxing, not threading, not even bleach. She had this weird rule that I could only start at 16. I still don't understand the logic behind that, but it contributed to senior school being an absolutely horrible time of my life - perhaps the lowest I have ever been.

Threading is gentlest on the skin, followed closely by waxing. Take her to a professional as they'll do a thorough and quick job, and so she isn't left with patches of hair that were missed in a DIY-job

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Worldsworstcook · 12/02/2018 12:42

Oh been there, done that!! Veet do lip waxing strips. There are two types - the easy gel wax strips are best - very simple to use and just as sticky as the non gel wax ones but less painful and less redness. They are brilliant and can leave you hair free for several weeks with no obvious stubby hair regrowth.

Would recommend whole heartedly.

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Worldsworstcook · 12/02/2018 12:43

OF course salons do it for about £6 so you may prefer that option. Threading good but I found regrowth thicker

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userabcname · 12/02/2018 12:54

I've been having lip waxes since I was 11. Just make sure to do it when she doesn't have to see anyone for a few hours afterwards - my lip used to swell and go bright red (but settled down after a couple of hours). It still does sometimes but not as badly.

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MiriAmmerman · 12/02/2018 14:48

If the hair is making your DD unhappy, take her to have it waxed/threaded. It's quick, cheap, and the results last a few weeks. My tip is to have it done after school one night, and cover the area in a thin layer of Sudocrem before bed. In the morning there will be no redness, no bumps, and no spots/blocked pores (waxing in particular can cause this).

If your DD changes her mind in the future about hair removal, she can always stop and go around in all her natural glory. But if this would make her feel happier, at least for now, then it's probably a good idea.

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Lucymek · 12/02/2018 14:49

Threading. Cheap easy and effective.

A lot of Asian shops specialise in threading which I prefer as they know how to work with thick dark hair.

Usually your local market or shopping centre will have somewhere.

Bloody hurts though!

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Titsywoo · 12/02/2018 14:53

DD refuses to have hers waxed now as she finds it too painful. I'm going to try bleach with her later (it's what I used as a teen) and am hoping it works ok.

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Nimo13 · 12/02/2018 22:22

I use Jolen on my daughters top lip. Do a patch test first. Got her eyebrows threaded and will get this done on her the lip if it gets worse.

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