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Year 6 kids going on 'dates'(12 Posts)
A couple of girls and boys in my daughter's year 6 class are going out on 'dates' , mainly to the local cinema.
Nothing to do with me I know, but am I being old fashioned in feeling very uncomfortable with the whole idea of calling it a 'date'.Some Mums seem to think it's sweet.
I'm more than happy with my daughter having boys as friends and doing activities in a group, but just think that this is making them view their friendships with boys in a different light.
I know some kids are interested in the opposite sex before others and having a crush on someone is totally normal, but can't get my head round mums helping to set up these 'dates'.
Would welcome your thoughts!
I agree, it’s young. I know it’s harmless - but they have all the time in the world for that stuff.
My dd is in year 6 equivalent I think (11 this year) and her 2 best friends have boyfriends and go on dates! They sometimes do a group date with my daughter being a gooseberry and a couple of their friends too (although dd swears she hasn't got a boyfriend and doesn't want one)
I do think it's a bit young tbh, my 15yo dd hasn't even had a bf yet.
But I suppose it is harmless, the mums know where they are (retail park near here with restaurants, cinema, coffee shops, bowling, golf) so always in the one place. I probably had boyfriends at school at that age but no money to go anywhere! I remember meeting boys at the park a couple of years older than that and not telling my mum 🙈
If you don't let them then you run the risk of them starting to hide things too, which isn't exactly what you want before they go to high school and have a bit more freedom.
Some children do seem to come to this very early - when I worked in the junior school we occasionally had to separate children snogging at the bottom of the field. I'm surprised at parents encouraging it though.
I'm still waiting for DS1, 16 y, to go on his first date - that's how it should be
Thanks for your replies, helps to get other perspectives. My concern is that kids who aren't doing it feel they should, because otherwise they aren't pretty/popular/grown up enough. My dd still playing with dolls! Long may it last.
My DS12 has been to a couple of discos in Y7 and Y8, and if he wanted to "date" out of that I'd have no problem with it (he has "asked out" a couple of girls but so far hasn't had any one-on-one dates). I also have a DD10 (Y6), and DS is under strict instructions that his friends' younger sisters, and his sister's friends, are completely off limits for now. Like you OP, I think Y6 is too young for dating, and luckily my DD finds the thought absolutely revolting.
When DD was in yr 6 she came back from the leaver's residential weekend with a 'boyfriend'. She begged me to arrange a 'date' at Frankie and Benny's but I refused.
Some of her friends had been on 'dates' there whilst their mums sat at another table.
I think she only wanted to have a boyfriend to gain popularity and to appear more grown up as she looks young for her age. Now she's year 7 she's lost interest in boys thankfully !
In yr 6 it seemed all the rage to have a bf. top of the school etc. Good to appear grown up and cool
A few meet ups in the park but I know no kidding went on as I read my dad wasapp. I think they are just practicing.
Since dd started yr 7. A few boys have asked but she hasn't said yes to anyone The pressure to fit in a get a bf doesn't seem so intense now.
DD1 has a best friend she sometimes refers to as her boyfriend - she's in Y5 now but this has been their relationship since Y2. I was a bit uncomfortable about that terminology at first but it's just their way of describing their friendship. DD has ASD and her friend also finds social interaction extremely difficult - without each other, I think they'd both be quite lost. They don't go on dates but we do sometimes have him over to play, and we've done family activities together. I wish they didn't feel the need to call themselves 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but I think it's really just a way to explain their friendship and minimise the teasing boy-girl friendships attract.
Loads of this at our primary, restaurant meals alone, cinema etc. No way would I allow it especially as its unsupervised here. Lots of pressure to have a boyfriend. Thankfully DD now at an all girls school and no interest in boys.
I went to the cinema with a boy when i was 11, I think we may have called it a date but in reality we were really good friends! This was the early 00s though I think now kids going on 'dates' are trying to be more grown up!