My dd will be 13 next week, she's in y8. Doing well, secure friendships, iPhone addict etc This morning she was wearing her Benefit mascara that she got for Christmas. We've told her it's inappropriate and we don't want her wearing mascara to school but we didn't make her take it off (I'm wondering if we should) She thinks we're being ridiculous- should we stick to our guns or pick our battles?
Pick your battles. Bit of mascara I could live with. I'd even be ok with a bit of concealer if my DD had acne. That's it though. I hate seeing girls going to school with a load of orange foundation on.
Well she's 'won' anyway cos you didn't make her take it off! Although I think going into battles to 'win' with kids is a fool's errand anyway. If the mascara is inappropriate then school will make her take it off.
What's the school policy on make up? I taught in a school that had a zero make up policy, and we had to make pupils remove it. We were fighting a losing battle if the parent didn't back the school. If the school has a minimal policy, it's up to you. If it's a zero policy, you need to support them
My DD wears make up to school, and I don't really approve (because I think she's too young)
But I decided that I would never make a fuss about stuff that washes off. So I've told her that if she gets in trouble at school then it's her own silly fault and she takes the consequences. (They have a bit of a non-rule at her school that although make up is officially banned, light/natural make up isn't sanctione. But if a teacher thinks too much has been plastered on it counts as a uniform infraction).
Perhaps the 'own silly fault' line is a ladder you could climb down - to show you disapprove but aren't banning?
I’m just coming into my second teenage girl phase (one is 17 and one is 12). This time I’m trying the encourage to the more sensible options...
Looked at makeup yesterday with dd12. Encouraged her to get clear mascara and explained how to choose the right colour foundation etc (she didn’t get any, just looking). Told her about choosing right colours for you and not colours everyone is wearing etc.
I’ve decided it is easier to have these conversations now while they are still receptive to parent opinion!
As for battles - pick them carefully. Try to choose the ones that involve being safe.
From several weeks later she has rarely worn it again so it wasn't the slippery slope to a face full of slap. Thanks all for the advice, especially about remembering to tell her she looks nice, this is something I don't do enough.