11 yo dd not eating

(7 Posts)
Sequinsaff Sun 17-Dec-17 21:25:53

My girl has just turned 11 but started periods at 9 and is in 14 yo clothes. She is taller than most friends, 34C bust and hips. She is definitely woman shapes but started saying she was fat compared to her friends (who are mostly shaped like skinny boys still. She is not fat but def curvy) Now she is suddenly refusing breakfast, eating only a tiny bit of her packed lunch each day. I am very worried - we have always talked about body image in pop culture and she has always been surrounded by feminist/body positive women. I have talked to her a little about how she needs to eat to be healthy (she has eaten really well up to now and grew 7" last year, shortly after becoming vegetarian). My hubby is losing his temper with her, but i am worried trying to force her to eat will just make her do it secretly. What's the best way to bring it up to her without making her feel threatened or making things worse??

OP’s posts: |
Ohyesiam Sun 17-Dec-17 21:35:32

If she were my daughter I'd take her to the gp. I'm not a great one for doctors, but serious eating disorders ( which this could be the start of) need professional help.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 18-Dec-17 20:45:57

@Sequinsaff sorry I can’t be of much help. Was just wondering if you’ve tsken her to the GP as suggested above?

Also, are you limiting her internet and phone access?

Sequinsaff Tue 19-Dec-17 06:33:32

Hi, thanks for replying. We haven't gone to GP yet as my work hours over the Festive period make it impossible. She doesn't have a phone and I don't THINK she is getting this from online. She is pretty supervised and mostly just looks at My Little Pony stuff or builds worlds on Roblox. She mentioned a 'friend' had said she was fat so it may just be girls at school who have put it in her head. We had a good chat last night and she has agreed to have a fruit smoothie every morning and to eat the sandwiches of her packed lunch. She seemed alarmed at how worried i was so hopefully a change will happen. I will keep an eye and contact GP in the new year if needed x

OP’s posts: |
EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Tue 19-Dec-17 08:06:58

So glad you’ve had a good chat. Do you ever look at her Roblox messages?

Sequinsaff Tue 19-Dec-17 15:39:19

Yes she always keeps chats open (so they are visable on screen all the time) and is only allowed to friend a handful of school chums, so no one else can message her.

OP’s posts: |
Megabeth Sat 30-Dec-17 11:57:02

I would have a word with her teacher, my daughter goes through periods of skipping her lunches at School. My DD hasn't yet started puberty and is skinny but there was a girl in her class at primary school who had a figure like your daughter's and I know it made her feel self conscious.

The teacher could maybe discuss body image as a topic in PHSE classes. The primary school did nothing to ensure my DD was eating at lunchtime though.
Now she is in yr7 I have contacted the well-being team and they have spoken to DD when I discovered her dinner money account hadn't been touched for a couple of days.
DD has told me some girls in her form regularly skip meals so I am very concerned about this issue.

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