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aibu to have told my dd about periods?

(107 Posts)
xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:18:00

so my little one is almost ten an has suddenly started developing breast buds and is complaining about feeling unwell with stomach ache etc. so rather than have her frightened if it happens, i told her tonight what a period was - in that it's blood every month but no more detail than that. now i feel awful because she got a bit upset. is it better for them to know? hate the idea of her being frightened by blood without knowing what it is.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 09-Oct-17 22:18:56

She's ten, I'd say you were pretty late telling her tbh.

dementedpixie Mon 09-Oct-17 22:19:10

Goodness even my ds knew by the age of 7 or 8 so 10 is plenty old enough to know. Dd started her periods at age 11

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 09-Oct-17 22:19:45

So many period threads on MN atm.

OkPedro Mon 09-Oct-17 22:19:45

I told my 9 yr old dd about periods she was 5 shock

Has your dd never been in the toilet with you? Seen pads or tampons?

dementedpixie Mon 09-Oct-17 22:20:47

And you could have introduced the idea gradually over the last few years rather than making it a big thing

xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:21:46

that's interesting. feeling now like i won't mention anything for a while. she was also upset by the breast buds when i explained what they were last week. she'd had a bad day at school so maybe i chose the wrong moment. feels like a minefield.

BertrandRussell Mon 09-Oct-17 22:23:31

It's only a minefield because you have left it so ridiculously late.

xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:23:39

to be fair i didn't make it a big thing. just told her when we were having a cuddle. and she did bounce back pretty quick.

brapbrapbrap Mon 09-Oct-17 22:25:27

Wow, that's really late! Better to educate her asap.

HubrisComicGhoul Mon 09-Oct-17 22:26:10

My 5 year olds have known about periods since they were 2. Mainly because they would follow me to the toilet and saw the blood, the truth was easier for them, than worrying about me bleeding.

xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:26:34

ten is late? really? so what's the advice now then? have little chats here and there about sex? i'm not prudish and have no problem doing it but just don't want to upset her again.

pastabest Mon 09-Oct-17 22:26:41

Surely they have covered it in some way at school by now? I remember being given a talk and some pads at school in about yr5/6

ilovewelshrarebit123 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:27:53

My DD is 10, she as known about periods since she was 8.

I’ve put a little makeup type bag in her school bag with pads, wipes and spare knickers in case she starts at school.

They’ve already been told about growing up by the teachers, but I’ve also told her about sex etc

I’d suggest being up front and honest with her about it all. My parents didn’t and periods etc were never to be spoken about!

xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:28:43

yeah they do a bit at school i think but i don't want to go depending on what she learns there to be honest.

titchy Mon 09-Oct-17 22:29:46

Very late yes! Girls can start aged 8 you know - did you want her to think she'd cut herself or something?

I guess you haven't had the sex talk yet either confused

xmasadsboohiss Mon 09-Oct-17 22:31:43

yeah my mum was really open about everything but i don't remember it being discussed too much before the age of ten or eleven to be honest. i certainly knew when i was having those little mini periods that that's what they were. i've kind of been guided by her - she hasn't asked too many direct questions up to now but I guess now I have to get more proactive.

Caulkheadupnorf Mon 09-Oct-17 22:31:49

I started my period at 9, it pretty common to start earlier now. I think 10 is late.

GlacindaTheTroll Mon 09-Oct-17 22:32:29

I think you're showing your hang ups, and I really hope they aren't transmitted to your DD. You have left it very late - indeed she may already have been taught about this at school (it's usually first covered in year 5 or 6).

Bright breezy and no nonsense is probably the best approach.

And yes, keep talking. Lots of little chats show normality, rather than the weirdity of set pieces about which you are clearly making a big deal.

MrsMerryFestive Mon 09-Oct-17 22:32:39

My DS is 5 and knows that women bleed every month when their monthly egg doesn't turn in to a baby.

I have consciously engineered moments when him and DD (7) have seen sanitary towels and blood in the toilet. I'd rather this stuff was all very matter of fact from as early as possible.

Having said that my mum told me when I was 11. I was "oh right". And that was that.

xyzandabc Mon 09-Oct-17 22:32:45

I'd say 10 is late. I have a 10 yr old and introduced the idea at 8/9. She is skin and bones so I doubt she will start before 12 but I wanted her to know before kids started talking about it in the playground.

After our chat, (which was walking along the street, not a formal sit down at the table talk!). I got her a couple of books.
They do a talk at school in yr 5 so didn't want that to be a surprise. They cover periods and puberty in yr 5 and then sex in yr 6.

I know there are at least a couple of girls in yr 6 that have started already, so again, best to know.

Sunbeam18 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:33:15

Really?? 10 is considered old to have this conversation?

Crumbs1 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:33:18

I don't think I ever told my children. They simply grew up seeing and having questions answered as and when. They knew about periods from toddlerhood and about procreation around the same age. One used to prefer 'Portland babies' to teletubbies. She could explain exactly where babies came from before she'd started school.
Ten is rather late.

DixieNormas Mon 09-Oct-17 22:34:06

We learnt about periods at school when I was about 8 many years ago

I have boys but they all knew about periods long before they turned 10

Ketzele Mon 09-Oct-17 22:34:29

Both my girls have known, at some level of detail, since before they started school. Rather than sitting them down for one big talk, I have dropped it into conversation now and then, explaining more as they get older. They have seen me change tampons. They know why periods happen (important, I think). And because it's never been new information, it's never been shocking information.

I don't want to make you feel bad, OP, but for others reading this: yes, I think 10 is very late to tell them. It's just too great a risk that they will start before then, and they almost certainly have heard references to it in the school playground. We should always aim to talk to them before their friends do.

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