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How much independence and pocket money in year 6?

(9 Posts)
whensitmyturn Sat 07-Oct-17 14:43:59

Just that really? Looking for other people's examples of what they let their dc's of 10 and 11 do.

I let dd walk home from school now but not to school yet as she hasn't got a phone (getting one at Christmas) so I don't know if she's got there safely.

I also let her nip round to subway sometimes to buy her lunch or a chocolate bar/bread/milk from the newsagents a couple of doors down (the row of shops is 3 roads away/5 min walk from our house).

She has also asked if she can go shopping to a retail park with a friend, cinema alone and a local cafe! My friends also say their kids of same age are asking to do similar.

Even if I was ok with some of the above it would cost a fortune we don't have to fund it! How much allowance do other people give their dc's of similar age?

BackforGood Sat 07-Oct-17 20:33:51

Thing with these questions are the answers are so dependent on where you live / what the 'journey' to these places is like / what their journey to secondary is likely to be like next year / whether they are used to bus travel etc.,etc.,etc

It has to make sense to gradually let them become more independent step by step - as you are - gradually building up the things they do on their own.

Re the money, the issue seems to be the pastimes she has 'chosen' seem very expensive ones and things that most dc (IME) don't really get into for another 4 or 5 years.

Re pocket money, I would let them have a fixed amount, and then it is up to them if they want to shop / loiter in a cafe (do they let ds hang around there without adults??) / go to cinema. IME they become less attractive when they realise it is actually going to cost 2 weeks pocket money.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 09-Oct-17 18:03:28

Agree with funding it themselves. DD has £10 a month paid ontonan Osper card. She’s recently been to a coffee shop with a friend from school but when she spent 2 weeks pocket money she’s not mentioned going again! grin

If she went to a retail park would you take her and bring her back and stay there? Could she borrow a phone for the trip?

Temporaryanonymity Mon 09-Oct-17 18:10:09

Mine walks home from school (it takes him around 40 mins) and I give him£2 a school day.

He pops to the shop for me and will take himself off for a haircut. He is pretty sensible. When he is in scouts they often do 10k hikes near the beach so i am OK with him walking through our urban streets!

If he asked for more independence i would probably give it. He is pretty streetwise.

That1950sMum Mon 09-Oct-17 18:13:26

Mine walked home from school in year six and went to local shop by themselves. I'd drop them at the local park to meet mates and pick them up an hour later (only did this once they had phones).
They got £2.50 a week pocket money for doing nothing and £5 a week if they did certain basic chores around the house.

londonista Mon 09-Oct-17 18:13:36

I think it’s about lengthening rather than cutting the ropes. I wouldn’t feel great about letting mine go on their own in year 6 to the high street (or shopping centre) to meet friends. Not at all that I don’t trust him, it’s more the people he could meet. Many kids, mine included, are still quite naive and trusting at that age (rightly so!) and I would just not feel great about mine on his own for too long.

Could you compromise and go together to the shopping centre and tell her you’ll meet her back at an agreed point in an hour?

It’s not long before she’ll be in secondary and she’ll have loads of (relative) independence then.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 09-Oct-17 18:13:51

Forgot to say DD is a red belt at karate so that takes away some anxiety.

coldcuptea Thu 12-Oct-17 22:02:33

My year six dd walks and catches a bus to school both ways . Pops out to shops . Buses it back from clubs and friends houses .
Money is not set but as and when - usually a couple of £ a week to buy odd things but if she wants something she asks me to buy it and I usually will , within reason of course . If we're out shopping she'll wander off a bit with her sister who is 12 .

madamginger Thu 12-Oct-17 22:16:28

Dd is 11 in 2 weeks, she doesn’t have a phone either.
I let her walk home from school and she has her own key. I let her nip to the shop round the corner on her own but not to the park which is 5 minutes away, maybe in the spring term when she’s a bit more confident.
She doesn’t have regular pocket money, but she gets bits of money as and when.
She’s my eldest so I’m still finding my way and learning to let go a tiny bit!

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