At what age...

[MissEDashwood]

I'm looking for ideas and beliefs on when our DC should have access to certain electronic goods. Like own mobile / own laptop / own TV.

Before I start chatting away I wondered if you've thought about what the appropriate age is? If your children have any or all, how old were they? Have you encountered any issues at all? Do you regret the decision or think it's necessary in the day?

Here's our current situation;

When the eldest started Secondary, being a bit of a worrier he was given an old phone we didn't use with 'emergency credit' on it. That's now managed with them using pocket money to get a deal so to speak.

They have access and share with the family a laptop, computer & each have a tablet. In unison they decided for Christmas they would like their own laptop each, with the basic Microsoft programmes, plus some other child led software. We don't go crazy at birthdays and Christmas, they get what they ask for which is usually reasonable. I believe for £200 they could get a decent reconditioned laptop. As we want to make it clear it's for educational purposes, not gaming.

The argument from the eldest is viable, in that with a laptop they can do homework in their room undisturbed. The youngest is just entering Y6, but this year they are prepared for the change from Primary to Secondary, so it still has its benefits.

The youngest has asked that they be allowed a SIM for the phone they use mostly for gaming in the car. Due to us travelling when the battery of one device fails they use the other. Also the old phone is Apple, the tablets are Android, so there are some apps only available on one format. She said her friends all have phones and text each other, she is being left out, I did wonder if we're a tad behind if that is the case. It sounds like she's planning on texting so will need a PAYG package with a decent texting allowance, this will have to come from pocket money as lessons need to be taught.

I'm just thinking are there lots of children in Junior School with mobile phones. I can't imagine what they'd chat about in the 18 hours apart. I do feel a bit wary, but not sure if I'm being over protective.

Then there's TV's in rooms, which they had whilst on holiday. To me the bedroom isn't really the place for a TV, once it's bed time, they can do what they want in their rooms, but the emphasis is on winding down and getting sleepy, a TV would keep them fairly alert. We have family time together watching programmes that are age appropriate.

They're both very lucky to have our old phones, plus access to so much. In someways they're lucky, others like own TV I don't think I'll ever change my mind.

As I put initially, do children really have PAYG phones at 9? Do you think all the access to technology has changed childhood experiences? I know of children who have the latest phones on contracts, but they're at Secondary school and there are filters which prevent huge bills. Is it worrying our DC's are so dependent on technology? Or is it just how it's been for a long time.

With the laptops the plan is they'll be handed over before bed, which I'm sure will go down great, but I feel they do need downtime. 2 nights a week no phones, tablet or computer, they have to find something else to do. Another blessing is they'll ask if they can use the devices.

I posted to find out what the norm was if possible. I guess what's getting to me is have a DC in Y6 with an active phone, although recently a child had a bereavement and was after talking to DD (child in Y6) so that would have been useful as they were out.

Thanks for reading if you got this far, I look forward to hearing others opinions & experiences.

[TeenTimesTwo]

Most of the class had a phone in y6. DD had a phone for being out only. Now entering y8 she has a better phone but still doesn't really use it to contact anyone but us, and I'm quite happy with that, but she is young for her age. PAYG.

No TVs in bedroom whilst still in education.

DD1 had laptop in room for secondary but with strong parental controls, also no internet access on phone until after GCSEs.

Most important is a rule re phones off and outside bedroom overnight.

[LapinDeBois]

I have a DS about to be 10 (going into Y5) and a DS aged 7 (going into Year 3). As a family we own: one iPhone (mine but kids borrow it for games occasionally), one iPad (whole family shared), one desktop PC (whole family shared) and one TV with PlayStation 3 (whole family shared). A couple of kids in DS1's class have got phones, but it's not the norm here until Y6 or secondary (village primary in the south east). The kids have a fair amount of screen time, but usu. only at fixed times (an hour before bed unless they're doing something else, plus an hour or so before breakfast at weekends/holidays). Homework in addition if necessary, plus occasional use at other times (usu. if we fancy an afternoon film in the holidays, or if DS1 particularly wants to look at something and asks nicely ).

So far they haven't asked for their own devices, but even if they did I would say no to anything else until secondary school. I'm planning on a phone for DS1 as a 'moving to secondary' thing, and will decide about a laptop depending on which secondary school he goes to and what they ask for. I think he'd quite like a Kindle, as he's an avid reader, so that might be an option as well. Definitely definitely no TVs in bedrooms until they live in their own house!!

We're a bit stricter/'meaner' than quite a lot of their friends' parents (lots have got their own tablets, I think), but we've honestly never found the need to get more. I'm happy to get away with a couple of books/games/jigsaws/the occasional bike for Christmas for as long as possible! Sharing devices also means they're much more likely to play/watch together rather than on their own (they usu. play PS3 games together when it's screen time). Maybe if they'd pestered more I would have cracked by now .