Worried sick about my 8 year old

[ecolightbulb]

I'm literally worried sick about my 8 nearly 9 year old son. I separated from his father after pnd when he was young and since then we've both established long term relationships with new partners, I have had another child as has his dad and he has step brothers. All has been stable apart from the usual shuffling between houses. We live close by and do our best to ensure minimal disruption. He's done well at school, made friends, achieved. However he recently had a panic attack and has had anxiety. I've bought books and it's helped a bit but I am so worried that the stress of his situation, albeit a non-conflict one, has made him suffer like this. He is away with his dad and I am a complete mess, feel sick, can't sleep or eat. Have done my upmost to hide my anxiety about it from him but I feel like I might have ruined his life because of my bad decisions. Help!

[AdelicaArundel]

Eco, I think you may be a bit hard on yourself.

It sounds as if you haven't "ruined his life"... you've done the best to maintain a relationship with his father, stayed in close, non-conflict contact, you try to minimise disruption.

There are typical developmental stages where children become more anxious- usually around the time when they develop more independence so 7-8 and again in early teens.

Anxiety is a normal part of human life....teaching him skills to manage it is your role as his parent. What techniques do you use yourself?

[ecolightbulb]

I think his panic attack has triggered anxiety in me that I've never really experienced before, it's been awful, I've had a pit in my stomach for 6 weeks and I've barely slept. Through reading about it I'm trying new things to get to grips with it and I'm trying to rein in the guilt as I'm not helping anyone least of all him. I think I've got some unresolved feelings about the split 7 years ago and I'm going to try and see someone as I have to get through this to get him through this!
One good thing to come out of it has been I'm much more conscious of how I parent and I'm thinking through things that I could be better at. Thanks for your response, it has comforted me.