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Letting a friend down gently - age 12

(6 Posts)
Ggirl27 Tue 27-Jun-17 07:35:46

My daughter has had a good friend since primary - they've gone to senior school and continued to travel together. My daughter has made new friends as has the other girl. The other girl is often late and is often is stroppy in the mornings and doesn't speak to her, she usually leaves her when she sees someone else she knows. My daughter wants to travel with other people but doesn't want to hurt her friends feelings. Does anyone have any advice they could share. She doesn't want to fall out with her friend but wants to spread her wings.

Gunpowder Tue 27-Jun-17 07:42:36

It sounds like they have both moved on. Doesn't mean they won't reconnect when they are older!

I think I'd say 'X I'm going to travel in a bit earlier with Y and Z from now on, if you ever want to join us let me know.

eatingtomuch Tue 27-Jun-17 07:45:38

I personally wouldn't say anything direct to the girl. DD needs to say if friend is not there at xxxxx time they will leave and she needs to catch them up.
It will naturally end with no fall out or the girl will arrive on time.
I would be encouraging the girls to all walk together especially if she is on time. How would you feel if DD was told she not wanted.
My DD goes to school with a few girls. They all go off to different friends once in school. She doesn't spend the school day with any of the girls she walks with. It's not a problem and she has lots of different friends she meets up with out of school.

Ggirl27 Tue 27-Jun-17 08:12:18

That's the problem really eatingtomuch - I'd hate it if my DD was told this and I know the other girls Mum really well. But the relationship is petering out - both sets of new friends live in completely opposite directions so they can't travel as a group. It's upsetting my DD as by the time they get on the bus the other girls is chatting with other people and ignoring her anyway. Plus she hates being late - tardiness really upsets her! Her Mum will take her in if she's running late which makes things worse. Its hard when you're young and I know she has to sort this out by herself.

TeenAndTween Tue 27-Jun-17 11:30:19

Number 1 thing - if friend isn't there by X time, then your DD shouldn't wait.

Ggirl27 Tue 27-Jun-17 11:54:24

I'll find out later if she's been brave enough to say something and how the conversation went hmm

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