Friendship problems in secondary school

(2 Posts)
Zippydoodah Thu 16-Mar-17 14:19:59

HI, I've written on here before about my 12 year old daughter's problems.

At junior school, she was a happy-go-lucky girl with many friends but struggled academically so always slightly lacked confidence in respect of that. I always consoled her in the fact that she may not be in the top sets but she has lots of friends and that is more important.

Secondary started well, or so I thought. She got into a nice group of friends but, this time, last year, it suddenly went to pot and the reasons aren't all that clear. She started to get excluded from parties and outings and you sort of rationalise it as a numbers thing but, if you are popular, you are the numbers so, deep down, it didn't really compute with me (and probably not her, either). Then it ends with them sending her out of her seat, saving places for one another (but not her) and she ends up being partnered with the least popular girl in the class (with good reason as she has a habit of destroying her work and that of her partners).

Fast forward to year 8 and I end up talking to her teacher as she goes through a phase of starving herself (slightly better and has put on weight but still v, v picky), showing signs of extremely obsessive behaviour and a completely unmanageable temper, where she destroys property and any sanction or talking to her when calm doesn't work. We do also have a CAMHS referral. We had an initial consultation and are waiting for counselling for Anxiety and Depression.

Back to the teacher, he talks to this group of friends, who turn out to be puzzled that she feels this way. Unfortunately, this didn't have the desired effect and they leave her out even more. One even started a rumour she is a lesbian the other day and then another sabotaged a lyric they were writing for music to something really creepy and made out it was her. I've tried encouraging her back to some of her old junior friends but they are mostly in their own groups now and are not as welcoming as they would have been, understandably. She's tentatively trying to seek out like-minded people but it's hit and miss.

She begs me not to talk to the teachers again but I'm on the verge of overruling her. I'm considering perhaps a different school or, at least, different class but she remains unsure so I don't know what to make of it all.


gandalf456 Thu 16-Mar-17 16:08:41

Place marking

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