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Clashing with 9 year old, desperate for help!

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Feellikerubbish Tue 24-Jan-17 23:55:54

My 9 year old son has always been a moany kid since a baby. Apart from being our first, he was also the first child on both sides of the family. So have been pretty spoilt. His sibling didn't arrive until he was nearly 5 so that's 5 years of having his way.

He can come across very selfish and unlike his sibling who shows her caring side more, he can come across very cold.

He doesn't get told off a lot due to constantly not listening/doing the opposite to what I ask and teasing his sister. Problem is I am pretty short tempered and can easily ban him from his computer games or raise my voice sometimes and we clash a lot.

Recently (last 3 nights,) he's becoming increasingly annoying and mouthy. If I tell him off he'd tell me to shut up.

Although I have not tried family counselling , I have however tried couple counselling in the past. I'd like to hear from anyone with similar experiences who may be able to offer some advise or tips. Has anyone used a parenting coach? If so did it help or can someone recommend one?

One of my biggest weakness is feeling guilty and not being consistent enough. Which I know could be the reason to all of this. My partner on the other hand works long hours and everytime I want support, he would just blame me for our son's behaviour.

Tonight our son came back from a friends house and asked if he can play more games. We have a rule that games stop after dinner ( letting him play after dinner results in having trouble getting him off it for bed) and so I said no. He then moaned and moaned and became rude a dog started being nasty to everyone at home and teasing his sister. So I banned him from games the next day. We argued and I got upset and he ended up saying sorry. Half hour later he said he wanted to have a sleepover at his nans who is close by and I said no and again the moaning started etc..

Sorry for ranting on, I am desperate for advise!

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