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Terrified to let ds 11 go further than the street

(6 Posts)
festiveleadballoon Sat 07-Jan-17 12:29:08

He's getting so upset because he has got a new bike for Christmas but has no where to play on it. He generally goes right down the street and back up round the back of the house then round he front again. I can't explain properly but it isn't far. He will be going to high school in September and I know I will have to give him the freedom to ride to school on his bike. Crossing a busy main road then a few other streets to get there. I'm just terrified. I'm terrified of him getting kidnapped or knocked down by a car or mugged for his phone and bike. How on earth do I give him his freedom but safely. I can't say that we live in the best town and that's what worries me as I'm not confident walking certain places on my own never mind my ds doing so. I didn't grow up here and so don't know my way around as much as others so it worries me if he goes missing or is late home I won't know where to look sad

TeenAndTween Sat 07-Jan-17 17:40:01

I think it is good you are recognising you need to extend his boundaries ready for secondary.

Round here (small market town) 11yos ride on residential roads, but go on the pavement for busier roads.

You need to equip him with 'what if' rules - what if you get a puncture, what if you get lost etc. Make sure he always has his phone on him, and that it is lowish spec so no one will want to steal it from him.

Maybe print off a map of the area and agree boundaries with him, where he can / can't go. And perhaps he needs to check in with you every X minutes (start with 30 then expand?)

Has he done a bikeability course at school (or is one planned?). Does he always always wear a bike helmet? Does he follow good cycling rules of indicating, checking behind him etc when on the roads?

You can't keep him wrapped up in cotton wool, but you can let go gently whilst putting in some rules to reduce risks.

originalmavis Sat 07-Jan-17 17:43:04

Has he got friends that he could go out with?

ASpiderInTheManger Sat 07-Jan-17 18:02:02

I was going to ask the same question as original. It is so much better when they have friends with them.

festiveleadballoon Sat 07-Jan-17 19:00:05

There are only 2 other boys on our street and one is only here when he stays at his dads house. They are a year younger and so their boundaries are the same as my ds except from they arent going up to high school so won't be allowed to go far until next year I'm guessing. Obviously once ds goes up to high school he will meet other friends that he will go play with further a field but until then he will be riding to school on his own confused. He has done a bike course in primary school but has still to do the junior school one this year. I feel so so guilty because when I was growing up I went everywhere and explored all over without a care and o hate he misses out on that but just don't trust some of the locals that hang around and live round here.im not alone in my worries as other parents I know feel the same. We are planning to move but it won't be for another 3-4 years yet when we can afford it.

originalmavis Sat 07-Jan-17 21:53:09

Can you ride with him? Maybe take the bikes to a country park.

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