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9 year old son asking questions about where babies come from 😕

(138 Posts)
user1483644886 Thu 05-Jan-17 19:48:11

My 9 year old son has started asking questions about how babies are born and how they are made. The problem I have is, I'm not sure how much detail I should go into !! He's never asked anything about this stuff before so it's come as a bit of a shock !! I've bought the Usbourne book 'what is happening to me?' but after reading it I found it rather too descriptive !! Any advise would be most appreciated.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 05-Jan-17 19:49:33

1. Get over your hang ups
2. Read the bloody book with him
3. Answers his questions honestly and factually.

<sits on hands about a 9 year old not knowing where babies come from>

HeCantBeSerious Thu 05-Jan-17 19:49:48

There's no such thing as too descriptive! Tell him the truth in an age appropriate way! My 6 year old knows about eggs and sperm so no reason your son shouldn't!

derenstar Thu 05-Jan-17 19:50:28

Shamelessly placemarking for tips as I have a 9 year old DD asking similar questions.

Liara Thu 05-Jan-17 19:51:44

Inside the human body is a great documentary for this. Really beautifully made and instructive (not just about how life starts, but it starts with a very good account of that).

frenchfancy Thu 05-Jan-17 19:52:58

I'm surprised that a 9 year old doesn't know. My DDs knew the basics from very small. What is it that you don't like about the book?

PuppyMonkey Thu 05-Jan-17 19:53:10

We've only just had the proper chat with our DD this year too, she's nine. Sorry to disappoint Movin'

playmobilpeacock Thu 05-Jan-17 19:53:36

Just tell the truth.

I answer my 5 year old as honestly as is appropriate. She knows about eggs and sperm, how a baby grows and how it's born.

Try not to make it awkward and make sure he feels able to ask questions.

MycatsaPirate Thu 05-Jan-17 19:54:18

Really? Bloody hell, mine were asking long before 9!

Are they not doing sex ed at school? It's generally covered in year 4/5.

But yeah, you sit down and go through the book with them.

Men have sperm. Women produce eggs. Man places sperm in woman via sex and sperm fertilises egg. Egg grows into baby and 9 months later is squeezed out of mum's vagina.

There ya go.

Middleoftheroad Thu 05-Jan-17 19:55:00

Mine were 9 (yr 5) when they had sex ed at school, but we had been talking about it a little before then. They are 10 now.

Aren't Usborne books for younger kids? He's old enough to be talked to in an adult way. just don't leave it too long as classmates may already have had such conversations with parents.

alicemalice Thu 05-Jan-17 19:55:15

I asked this same question when DD was around 4 or 5.

Was told to just get on with it and treat it as basic biology, which it is.

True enough, no shame now in talking about sex at all around her.

megletthesecond Thu 05-Jan-17 19:55:22

What moving said.

This sort of knowledge keeps kids safe and shouldn't be left until they ask. Pretending it's some kind of mystical grown up secret is silly.

longdiling Thu 05-Jan-17 19:55:34

He's old enough to cope with this op, honest. And I found the earlier you talk about it the less giggly and embarrassed they are. Start backwards; the baby grows inside mum's tummy in an organ called the womb. It grows from an egg made by the mum and a sperm made by the man. When they come together they grow into a baby. Add more detail as he asks. When he asks how the sperm gets into the mum's tummy just take the plunge and tell him. Go at his pace and answer all his questions honestly.

FatOldBag Thu 05-Jan-17 19:56:38

9?! Bloody hell, just tell him. Give him the book to read himself if you can't bear to.

Middleoftheroad Thu 05-Jan-17 19:57:13

Sorry OP you said book is descriptive. That's good. Don't worry he is old enough to take it all in.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Thu 05-Jan-17 19:57:16

It should be descriptive. He will start sex education in school next year and it's far better that he learns from you and knows you can talk about sex and bodies with him so he's coming to you with questions rather than learning half truths in the playground.

He will be hitting puberty soon too. He really should know about this already, but you can still teach him.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 05-Jan-17 19:58:11

Nine and he doesn't know where babies came from? confused

EnidColeslaw771 Thu 05-Jan-17 19:58:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountTessa Thu 05-Jan-17 19:59:37

There's a really good episode of Operation Ouch that you could watch together and then discuss, if you feel the book is too descriptive...

smilingsarahb Thu 05-Jan-17 20:00:13

That's a really good book. I left it with my 9 year old son to read and then asked what he thought and did he have any questions.

AddToBasket Thu 05-Jan-17 20:01:55

My 9yo DS has just started asking about this.

I've no idea why some parents seem to think it is a badge of honour that their DC have known from much younger. In fact, I think it is a bit weird to have to 'sit on your hands' about any gaps in a 9yo's knowledge about anything hmm.

I think you have to answer honestly much you don't need to answer all at once. You can do/puberty, genetics, sex and baby growth/stages all at different times. Just see how they are absorbing it and only go at the pace they want. Short discussions are better for that.

There's a really good Operation Ouch programme on puberty by the BBC which my DC watched. Not sure if you can still get it.

Gooseberryfools Thu 05-Jan-17 20:03:13

Just be factual and honest.

PromisesPromises Thu 05-Jan-17 20:05:47

grin Tbf my 4 year old probably knew more than my 8 year old. I've always told them when they ask but she is way more inquisitive and he never really asked. Last year I had to actually bring it up to talk to him about it as I was aware there may be girls getting periods in his class soon.

Sittingunderafrostysky Thu 05-Jan-17 20:05:55

When ds2 was 7ish, he read an Usborne book about the human body (different book, but quite descriptive too). I didn't know which section he was reading, but when I went to tuck him in at bedtime, his little face lit up, he gave me a huge snike and said:

"Just think, of all the millions of sperm, my sperm was the one that made it to the egg, and you got ME!!!".

Still makes me smile. Just give him the book.

FaFoutis Thu 05-Jan-17 20:05:57

Just tell him and don't make a big deal of it. Talk to him in a way that makes it clear to him that he can ask or tell you anything. Giving him a book and then scarpering won't send that message.
That's a good book though, the bit about hormones is helpful.

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