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10 year old son seems so unhappy

(11 Posts)
dontbesillyhenry Sun 18-Dec-16 10:47:06

He's mentioned he has no friends, which I've spoke to school about and they've said they are not aware of any friendship 'issues'
He had a friend over to stay recently and they haven't spoke since. He won't discuss this with me and gets upset and angry. I've no idea what to do and how to talk to him about things I hate seeing him like this it's heartbreaking

BdumBdummer Sun 18-Dec-16 10:53:55

It's a bit lame but I would take him out for a mad treat (a couple even) anything that gets him good and tired and/or unwound. There's a possibility he might talk or he might just smile a bit - it's easy to forget how to when down in the dumps.

dontbesillyhenry Sun 18-Dec-16 11:00:45

That's the thing though the past couple of weeks his dad has took him to a lovely skate park for him to practise his hobby while I've been left with the other two....

BdumBdummer Sun 18-Dec-16 11:19:08

Totally get it. All I can suggest is that whatever he is feeling he's not going to tell you till he's ready (I hate it when they do that). Have another word with the school, maybe the class teacher needs to look a little harder.
That and more attempts to have him smile.
Is he worried about/thinking about the move to senior school. That is pretty unsettling. He might be feeling "last Christmas at primary school blues". Or the opposite but fears disappointment at new school .

dontbesillyhenry Sun 18-Dec-16 11:38:59

He's in the first year of middle school. It started off really well and he said he loved it but now he keeps coming out with things like 'the cool kids don't like me'
He just won't ever discuss feelings so I am lost really how to help the poor little love

BdumBdummer Sun 18-Dec-16 12:31:09

Has he watched/read diary of a wimpy kid? I really think his school could be looking a little closer. It is, of course, no comfort but all the cool kids I knew at school burned out their coolness pretty quick upon leaving school.
A new haircut? New shoes or maybe some music that he hasn't really been exposed to that he could get into? A gig? Footie? I'm flailing around here but those are the kinds of "refresh your style " things I'd look at.

Queenie80 Wed 21-Dec-16 21:52:58

Sorry don't have any real tips, but wanted to say my DD is at same stage and age. Very emotional crying outbursts, moods up and down so not sure what to do. Shamefully book marking to see who else cones along flowers

Outofoptions Wed 21-Dec-16 22:02:18

i started a thread like this a few months ago. In our case it had been going on for months and months. After some fab advice on here I phoned around all the local schools and found they were all full. DD was so upset when I told her so after talking to the LEA home ed person we made the decision to put in a mid year transfer to another primary but in the mean time withdraw from school and homeschool. We don't have middle school just primary and secondary and so I knew whTever she would get a fresh start at school in September.
ALOT of tears were shed (by me!) over the first few days of withdrawing from school. I was terrifed I'd made a mistake. However within a week my dd was a different child. She was happy and chatty and like a weight was off her shoulders. Home ed was ok but she wanted to be in school and luckily 2 weeks later I got the mid year transfer back and she had a place!
This was a month ago and my dd is happy, has a load of friends and walks into school happy and comes out of school happy telling me about her day.
I 100% made the right decision and my only wish is i'd done it sooner. Being on her own every play time was slowly destroying her and altough I kept saying it will get never did until I moved her.
Hope this helps you and I hope things improve xx

Outofoptions Wed 21-Dec-16 22:03:24

BTw I also put it down to 'age' and just a 'stage she was going through' but it just got worse..

EddieStobbart Wed 21-Dec-16 22:07:17

Are there any clubs he could join? I was worried about my DD about 6 months ago as she seemed to be getting frozen out of her friendship group. She went to a drama class (school one but mixed with the other class in her year) and now all her good friends are in the other class via the girls she knows from drama. So much happier.

Outofoptions Wed 21-Dec-16 22:13:27
that was my thread if you wanted to read.
Clubs is also a good idea, my dd got so low she couldn't even walk into a new club. She's now a proud member of 2 groups !

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