My two sons aged 8 and 10 have lots of 'nice' friends but I am increasingly finding that they are being pressured by them and being made to feel stupid. This is a particular problem with computer games. When they were younger I tried to hold off getting them any tablets or consoles, but I found that the more I kept them away from electronics the more obsessive they became, particularly when visiting friends who had access to computer games. They were also being left out of conversations and friendship bonds. So in the end I caved in and bought them tablets and then later, an Xbox. It has become a constant battle and I feel exhausted by the daily arguments. I try to restrict the amount of time that they are on screens limiting it to an hour, or saying no games in the week during term time, but whatever I do the boys never seem to feel that they have had enough and will sneak onto games whenever they get a chance. To make matters worse, their friends in the main seem to be allowed to go on their Xbox's with unlimited access. We are really aware of this as they all have headsets and can chat to each other while online, so we can clearly see who is 'on' whenever we turn the Xbox on. This leads me to feeling really depressed and guilty. I hate to see the boys spending their lives on screens for hours and hours, rather than following other pursuits, but their friends are all now so much more skilled at these games due to the hours that they spend online. They tease my sons about not being very good and boast about how long they are allowed to be on screens themselves. I find that this goes along side other boasting about being great at sport, maths, spelling, reading... anything really. I can see that my sons judge themselves to be inferior to their friends. This is particularly the case with my 10 year old who described himself as being mediocre at everything. I have always taught them to be modest but when I see how boastful and confident their friends are I feel angry and sad. They go to a small school, single form entry and so there are only limited numbers of boys that they can be friends with. I feel like I don't know how to deal with the situation and that I am fighting a losing battle and making my children less popular by making rules that none of the other parents seem to have. Am I being too strict? How should I deal with this?
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Peer pressure about access to computer games is making home life miserable.
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user1475248872 · 30/09/2016 17:02
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