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How old was your DD when you told her about periods?

(20 Posts)
mommybunny Wed 14-Sep-16 15:43:19

My DD is 9 and one of the smallest in her year at school. I haven't yet had "the talk" with her and I'm not yet aware if any of her peers have started their periods yet, though I have a niece 6 weeks older than DD who has developed rather rapidly (though don't think she's started her period yet either). I don't remember finding out about it all myself till I was at least 11, and I didn't start periods till I was 12-13, but I know lots of girls nowadays start much earlier than that. Is it time to do it now? Any tips on how to do it/what to say?

YouAreMyRain Wed 14-Sep-16 15:47:22

I've always talked to both my DDs about periods and normalised them, right from when they came to the toilet with me as toddlers and asked questions. They are 8 and 10 now, DD1 had "the talk" last year (yr5) and came home with a booklet and a panty liner. I'm hoping that's enough and I will just need to answer questions now

UncontrolledImmigrant Wed 14-Sep-16 15:48:05

My daughter has known in a very basic way that periods exist and they are connected to having babies in some way since toddlerhood

I talked through details, including tampons, pads etc when she turned 9 last year

YouAreMyRain Wed 14-Sep-16 15:48:31

Apparently you have approx 2years from the start of them growing breast buds, if that helps with timing

stealthsquiggle Wed 14-Sep-16 15:55:55

I suspect it will be a topic of discussion at school already, OP.

I bought my 9yo DD a couple of the "what's happening to me?" type books last year (Y4) because she kept asking me questions at the most inappropriate moments and I didn't like having to fob her off. She read them cover to cover, and asked a couple of clarification questions, and that was it.

She hasn't mentioned having covered it at school, but that doesn't mean that they haven't talked about it amongst themselves since they seem to talk about everything else.

freetrampolineforall Wed 14-Sep-16 16:56:03

I suppose since about 6 but it's an ongoing discussion. Try some of the American Girl books or Usborne. Don't be put off by name American Girl; it's just a brand name. Think Michelle Obama rather than some creationist airhead.
Try the Sanitary Owl website too.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 14-Sep-16 17:00:38

Ds knew from about 6 or 7.

claraschu Wed 14-Sep-16 17:00:41

I talked to my sons and my daughter about it from very early, never had a big talk, just an ongoing chat every now and then. If I were you I would start talking now and keep normalising it for her.

mommybunny Wed 14-Sep-16 17:10:46

Thanks for the feedback - clearly I'm behind the curve!

The only time it's ever been an issue was when she was about 6 - she and I were both in an airport about to board a transatlantic flight with her 8 year-old brother, and we both went to the toilet. She happened to see blood on me and she freaked out. I reassured her immediately that I was absolutely fine and that later I'd explain everything, but I couldn't do so just then. She calmed down after that and hasn't brought it up since then and frankly neither have I. She knows about sex (and finds the idea the most repellent thing she's ever heard) but now I need to add the bit that says she's going to bleed every month for the next 35-40 years.

freetrampolineforall Wed 14-Sep-16 18:51:53

Mine still joins me on visits to the loo. If yours does, and you have your period, just talk about what you are doing. Or perhaps mention the bins in public loos and what they are. It doesn't need to be a talk about the mechanics of sex at the same time (if that hasn't been talked about yet). Just start a conversation.
You'd rather she had you as a trusted source of info than the playground. Have a look at some of the suggested books first to find the right tone. And let her read the books at her leisure. I wish I'd had them when I was a kid.

reddotmum Wed 14-Sep-16 18:56:25

My poor daughter started her periods at 9 before I could talk to her about them. She thought she had cancer so finding out what it really was was a bit of a relief. She had a tough couple of years until they regulated but she's 15 now and copes well however her best friend also 15 hasn't started her period yet although she is tiny and currently being investigated for that.

MrsJayy Wed 14-Sep-16 19:01:27

From 6 I know it seems young bit it gets it out of the way then there is no awkwardness at 9 you don't need to go into graphic but least they know

sammum9 Thu 15-Sep-16 23:16:53

So interested to read other people's thoughts and experiences. I have an 8 yo dd and 9yo dsd and have been thinking i should talk to them together. I've had an usbourne book recommended to me but haven't bought it yet. Neither of the girls have been in the toilet with me for years - is that odd?? They've wanted to go alone and i've let them- I thought it was good that I was encouraging their independence... Dd is obsessed with babies atm - she wants to adopt as she's heard that having a baby hurts, even though i've tried to reassure her that it hurts a bit, but the end result is totally worth it! Not sure whether to talk to the girls together or seperately, or how to bring up the subject.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Thu 15-Sep-16 23:27:09

My dd1 is 6 and knows. There has never been a sit down talk about it, it's just been her gradually asking questions over the years about what she has seen in the bathroom. Like finding tampons (lady mice she calls them) or seeing blood when she follows me in. She knows that every month your body has a chance to make a baby and of it doesn't some of the stuff you don't need comes out. I've always just given her matter of fact answers.

RebelRogue Thu 15-Sep-16 23:30:31

Dd has known since around 3. The joys of never peeing alone lol. She knows some pretty basic stuff and that she will get one when she's older as well. She also knows about contraception and she decided she'll go on the pill as everything else hurts or is eww. Funnily enough she hasn't asked yet how babies are actually made gringringringrin

MrsJayy Thu 15-Sep-16 23:45:49

Its not odd that your girls have not been in the toilet with you mine were hardly in with me and never at 8/9 we all need a little privacy i had sanitary towels out in the bathroom, Dd1 ran down the tescos aisle at 4 shouting mummy mummy Mummy you have forgotten your lady nappies blush so she has always sort of known about periods gawd knows why i called them lady nappies though

ShelaghTurner Fri 16-Sep-16 00:10:24

I had the talk with dd1 when she was 7. She'd been in the toilet with me many times but not when I've had a period. I just like a little privacy then. She doesn't seem fazed but she's only 8.5 now.

I was always very open about my own periods - left boxes of tampons out in the toilet when I was on and we first talked about about in relation to her when she was about 8 I think. I bought her a book about growing up and puberty as she was starting to develop (breast buds and starting to get whiffy after exercise! ) I bought her the Lillets teen pack (little bag and trial amounts of pads) when she was 9ish so we wouldn't get caught off guard which was great as she unexpectedly came on a week after her 11th birthday - no warning or cramps or spotting. She handled it really well, better than I would have done at that age.

MrsJayy Fri 16-Sep-16 00:15:39

I was told nothing i started at 11 i thought i had hurt myself on my bike my nan told me as i was at her house baffled why mum never spoke to me about puberty

JustDanceAddict Fri 16-Sep-16 13:29:27

I think she was 8 when we had 'the talk' re sex, periods, etc. We went through suitable parts of an Usbourne book to help 'let's talk about where babies come from'. After that she asked me general questions re periods and I answered. They have the 'period' talk in year 5 I think at school. She actually started at 13, just before year 9, which seemed quite late compared to her friends, but she is one of the youngest in the year.

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