Opinions please?

(25 Posts)
dancemom Sun 24-Jul-16 13:17:16

Would you let a sensible mature 11 year old

1 - stay home alone for an hour or two during school holidays or at weekends with the usual rules re not answering door not using cooker etc

2 - walk alone to friends house approx 3 minutes away

3 - make their own way to their hobby if it involved taking public transport, approx 10 minutes on transport then 3 minutes walk to venue if they had mobile phone

4 - walk home from youth club approx 3 minutes away at 9pm on a Saturday night

Just trying to gauge views and work out how reasonable / unreasonable I am!

OP’s posts: |
TheGoodEnoughWife Sun 24-Jul-16 13:31:52

1, Yes
2, Yes
3, No
4, No

(But then I am pretty over protective. I just think if I have a doubt then I would rather wait until they are a bit older. Plenty of future ventures alone to be had as teens and older!)

soundsystem Sun 24-Jul-16 13:39:14

Yes (I'd do the journey with them first as a run through)
No (unless it was 3 minutes in a straight line where I could see them)

soundsystem Sun 24-Jul-16 13:40:30

I'd also let a sensible, mature 11 year-old use the cooker, even if I was out.

JasperDamerel Sun 24-Jul-16 13:49:00

Depends on the child
Depends on the area/route

CremeEggThief Sun 24-Jul-16 13:52:19

Yes to all, apart from 4 when it's dark.

Ifailed Sun 24-Jul-16 13:54:50

yes to all of them. I did it, as did all the children of my age back in what to many is probably the dark-ages. We were cooking teas for our siblings, doing the ironing, lighting fires in the autumn etc.

Of course we did sometimes wonder what happened to little Mandy, but the vicar told us that she'd gone to a better place, and not to talk to the meddling policemen from the big city, as they didn't understand our country ways.

StrumpersPlunkett Sun 24-Jul-16 13:54:51

Yes to all 4 in our area but not sure if I lived where my brother lives.

CPtart Sun 24-Jul-16 14:09:53

Based on my 11 year old DS. Yes (and does) to the 1 and 2. No to 3 and 4, but we live on a poorly lit and fast country lane.

Madbengalmum Sun 24-Jul-16 14:10:38


AmysTiara Sun 24-Jul-16 14:17:00

Yes to all but the last one. I'm not sure, it would depend on the location.

dancemom Sun 24-Jul-16 15:01:59

Thank you everyone!

I'm currently yes yes no and no but was wavering on number 3 as its a journey we do 3 times a week and have done for 7 years! May start off letting her go herself and I will collect her for the return journey...

OP’s posts: |
BackforGood Sun 24-Jul-16 15:11:34

Possibly - depending on location, if it were still light, if they were walking with someone, if there were a reason I couldn't nip out and fetch them.

Wafflenose Mon 25-Jul-16 10:44:58

My DD is 10.75 and unusually mature

So based on my experiences with her:
1 Yes
2 Yes
3 Maybe in a year
4 No, I think it's too late

rainbowunicorn Mon 25-Jul-16 12:00:55

I would say yes to the first three without hesitation. The last one would depend on many factors. The route ie does it go past pubs etc where there may be potential for coming across drunks who may give them some hassle. If it was light out, a residential area and they were with a friend I would have no problems. If it was dark and they were on their own I would probably walk to meet them, perhaps halfway after a few weeks.

Cocochoco Mon 25-Jul-16 12:03:32

I think I would say yes to 3 as long as she texted me as soon as she got there. Definite no to 4.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 25-Jul-16 12:06:12

1, 2, 3 definitely yes.

4 maybe with an older friend depending on area. But not in the dark so summer only.

TheDailyMailareabunchofcunts Mon 25-Jul-16 12:06:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lifebeginsat41 Mon 25-Jul-16 16:27:47

Yes - but for the 1st couple of times but I would go separately to the club and meet her there to ensure she knows what she is doing. It is one thing doing it for years with you but another her actually travelling on her own.
and if she takes the bus ask her to sit / stand downstairs.
Yes - to start with in the summer and see how it goes when it gets darker.

lovelilies Tue 26-Jul-16 20:06:11

Yes to all except maybe no.4 if it's dark.
My 11yo often spends a few hours alone at home and enjoys the peace and quiet!
I won't let her have a shower alone in case she slips she's a clumsy oaf

AKinkAdmirer Thu 08-Dec-16 18:58:39

Yes to everything, though 4 depends on your location.

TeenAndTween Thu 08-Dec-16 20:25:13

no way in winter, possibly in summer if phone call before leaving

Given your update, I think 3 would be a yes too.

mamalovesmojitos Thu 08-Dec-16 20:30:08

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes, dd 12 does a longer trip a few times a week
4. I'd be inclined to collect

mamabluestar Sat 07-Jan-17 23:21:39

Can I ask at what age you started to allow no.1? It's something that DH and I have been talking about recently. Thanks

loveyoutothemoon Mon 30-Jan-17 21:46:09


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