A struggle to get my DS to bath himself........

[bridgetoc]

My DS is ten and I am trying very hard to get him to be a little more independent than he is. For example, I'm trying to get him to start bathing himself because I think at ten, it is long overdue. He is not having any of it though, and still wants me or his dad to help him, and gets upset if I try to insist he does it himself. By the time his sister was eight she wanted to do everything herself, and was very independent in lots of ways, and would not let anyone even go in the bathroom if she could help it. My son is very sensitive and loving and needs lots of affection, and gives it back. He is not consious or shy about people seeing him without clothes, which is fine, but surely he should be a little more modest by now. The other night he was in the bath and I had put some of those bath bombs from lush in with him, and he thought these were so cool that he started shouting down for everyone to come up and have a look. This included me, two of my friends, his sister who is now sixteen, and a friend of hers as well, all in the bathroom, and he decided to just casually stand up and let them all have a good look at him in his birthday suit! They all think he is gorgeous, and he is, and in some ways I'm glad that he is still our baby boy and that he wants his Mum and Dads help for so much, but I don't think we should keep babying him so much. My husband disagrees and says just to leave him be because he thinks he will become very bashful, and more independent in general in his own time, and now I'm not so sure if I should put my foot down or not?

[rainbowunicorn]

I think you are right on this one OP, he really needs to be independent in this by now. Both my boys were showering by themselves by the age of 9. It is all part of letting them grow up.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I would make the most if it while he still wants it,tey grow up too fast

I think at 10 he can wash himself perfectly well but I'm all for communal baths and chatting

[FeckinCrutches]

Does he still want you to wash him etc? Or just be there to chat to? I've only got girls and by 8/9 they hated anyone to be in the bathroom with them, I've no idea what boys are like though!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

If he still wants you to wash him I'd encourage him to do it himself but squirt the soap on his sponge and gently tease him if he wants you to wash him. GENTLY tease, " Come on you lazy sausage,you can do that yourself " or similar.

[bridgetoc]

I agree rainbowunicorn...... He can do it himself because when we are out and we get back to late for a bath he will have a shower in the morning by himself. He is very mature in some ways, but likes to be babied in others.

My daughter was the same as yours Feckincrutches.... Perhaps boys are different?

My DH agrees with you DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen In fact he says exactly the same with regards to enjoying him being a little boy while we can and not forcing him to grow up so fast. He thinks our DS will be barricading himself in his room soon enough! DS wants us to still wash him, and what you suggest with the teasing is exactly what I'm trying now. I'm agreeing to wash his hair, and cuddle him dry, but trying to persuade him to do the rest, but he doesn't like the idea. My DH says that it is because he needs lots of affection, and he sees his bath time as something affectionate, which I guess it is! He is happy to wash him and says I'm being silly! Not sure if I should be more forceful now, or go with what DH says?

[FeckinCrutches]

I cannot imagine still washing my 10yo DD in the bath, but she's in the throes of puberty!

[bridgetoc]

I think girls mature quicker FeckinCrutches, but I agree. I think I shall have to be a bit more forceful with him.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

He'll let you know soon enough when he's not comfortable