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Is my daughter starting puberty???

(20 Posts)
petefrancis Fri 17-Jun-16 21:44:59

My 10 year old girl is a happy but sometimes shy individual.Lately the smallest of things have been bothering her and she has been crying a lot and the next minute happy.She complains of a tummy ache although theres no "pain" just a funny feeling in her tummy and she loses her appetite.She has missed school once this week and we've had phone calls from school saying she's feeling poorly but when we've gone in she's crying but very anxious at the same time.We've asked her if she's getting bullied and she says no(we believe her because usually any minor thing which upsets her she tells us right away and the thought of switching schools alarms her).She does a lot of sport activities and she's wanting to end them all.She has given us reasons for being upset but these vary and are not things which would ordinarily bother her.Last week she had a very brief tantrum which is not like her at all and we saw a doctor last week but he said it WASN'T puberty or anything like that.Just anxiety.This change has come on very quickly indeed and I was just after your opinion really.

petefrancis Sun 19-Jun-16 19:35:23


WoodleyPixie Sun 19-Jun-16 19:37:17

She sounds exactly like my 10yr old daughter to be honest. Mine was 10 in March and she has days like this most weeks.

We were at a bbq last night and she complained of a tummy ache. She did the same when we were on holiday in the evenings.

EATmum Sun 19-Jun-16 19:40:50

My DD2 had something similar around age 10. She suddenly became massively anxious out of a clear blue sky - she wouldn't let us leave the room to go to the loo without panicking. After several weeks I took her to the GP for a referral, and it turned out that she had a virus and low grade fever - she thought it might be glandular fever. Treating the illness magically sorted out the anxiety too. Which is a long winded way of asking if you've checked her physically because we'd had no idea.

Muskey Sun 19-Jun-16 19:47:19

It might be puberty although a little young. My dd started her periods at the end of year 6 four months before her 12th birthday. Her behaviour changed virtually over night although she wasn't anxious just obnoxious every month (and still is) for about 2 days before her period starts.

Is there anything else that might be bothering her. Body image, boys teasing her, bullying etc.

oldharrysgame Sun 19-Jun-16 19:55:57

Our dd 9 went through a phase of this - not so much recently. Abdominal migraine was the doc's best guess. She can also be anxious and refuse to eat when she has this. We've adapted our approach and appear to have successfully faked being chilled out about it with her. It has abated. Anxiety plays a part.

chocoLit Sun 19-Jun-16 20:35:37

Ah yes welcome to the hormone train. Dd1 went through it, started on the hormone roller coaster at 9 & her periods aged 11.

Dd2 currently riding the hormones (having just turned 10)

Can't wait till dd3 joins in too .....

PortiaCastis Sun 19-Jun-16 20:38:34

Probably puberty my dd got her period at 9

francis15 Sun 19-Jun-16 20:39:33

Thanks for the replies.I must point out that I'm her father.My wife isn't convinced it's puberty.Shes got a good circle of friends and was emotionally bullied last year which she got over and was never upset to the extent she is now.She was down about an hour ago and cried a little.She's just been on Skype for the last hour happy as Larry with her best friend and now she's down again.Up and down all the time.Neither of us have sat down and given her the talk although I did my best to explain the emotional side of it all but I don't think it sank in that well.I have a feeling she's pinning her sadness on things which wouldn't ordinarily make her sad and because my wife doesn't buy the whole puberty thing she's thinking her upset IS exactly what my daughter says they are.I mean I could be wrong but it's just all a little strange to me

chocoLit Sun 19-Jun-16 21:03:35

Buy her a book to read at her leisure so she's not embarrassed but make sure she knows she can talk to you at either time for any reason and with any questions.

This worked well with DD1 and Dd2 now owns the book and has started taking an interest in it.

It allows them to absorb, acknowledge and chat at their own pace.

It worked for us at least.

Ilikesweetpeas Sun 19-Jun-16 21:06:19

At 10 I think this is very likely to be hormonal. Even if she doesn't show outward signs her hormones are likely to be, "revving up" at this age.

monkeyfacegrace Sun 19-Jun-16 21:06:43

My 9 year old dd has spent the last 6 months with tummy ache, discharge, smelly armpits and has grown a rather large amount of public hair. Periods are the next thing I'm guessing.

She is tearful, emotional, has given up every after school club plus brownies, and just wants to be at home.

I'm riding it out. Puberty is fucking horrible and I'd not go back to those days for love nor money. Anything to make it easier for the poor kid.

francis15 Sun 19-Jun-16 21:22:59

Our daughter prior to all this had 2 after school clubs,swimming lessons,gymnastics and synchronised swimming.Bearing in mind all this started about 2 weeks ago she's given up on ALL the swimming and all the after school clubs.We've only just managed to keep her interested in the gymnastics.

chocoLit Sun 19-Jun-16 21:40:26

Same here francis15 sad DD1 was a great wee swimmer. Club level. Now won't go <sigh>

steppemum Sun 19-Jun-16 21:47:08

emotional mood swings start well before periods start, can be 2 years before.

Dd went through a bad patch, sickness and headaches, missing school age 10. I started giving her a good teenage multi vitamin, and it helped a lot. She is now 11 and at the end of year 6, still no sign of periods, but she has physical development (hair etc) and moods swings.

velocitygir1 Sun 19-Jun-16 21:49:46

My nearly 12 yr old was exactly like this at 10...she then pretty much started developing overnight. She started her periods at 11.
Prior she always had an strange feeling in her tummy...not pain just odd.
Hopefully your daughter can cope with everything.

oldharrysgame Mon 20-Jun-16 10:14:19

Recommend she reads at her leisure ( and you and Mum read too) one or all of the following: Girls Only by Victoria Parker; What's Happening to me - Usborne publication; or The Care and Keeping of You (younger girls edition) - AmericanGirl publication (don't be put off by publication- very sensible and practical).

Hulababy Wed 22-Jun-16 20:19:23

Make a little note on your calendar or diary; see if there is a pattern at all.
We noticed hormonal changes before physical changes. And def not that young these days either - more and more girls are entering puberty earlier. DD was about 10.5y when she started her periods, and she wasn't the only one in her Y6 class either.

francis15 Mon 27-Jun-16 16:44:40

Just an update.All weekend she was fine and last Thursday and Friday before but this morning she had lots of tears and was crying a lot in school.We've asked her if she wants to change schools she has said no.In school today she was crying and saying she "hates it here".Not in a nasty way but she's come home happy and said I don't want to move schools.
In a few days time we're taking her to the hospital for some bloods on the instructions of our doctor.He seems to think it ISNT hormonal and could be her thyroid or anxiety or her salt levels.A female doctor we saw says it could well be hormonal.As before though she's still up and down with her moods and excuses are a Kyle varied

francis15 Thu 30-Jun-16 14:32:20

We've just got the results back from the blood tests and everything is normal.They tested her for salts,thyroid,diabetes and hormones so the thing I thought it was "puberty" is wrong.

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