10 yr old bad attitude

(6 Posts)
peppajay Sat 28-May-16 22:44:32

My DD is almost 10 and the way she speaks to us is terrible. She doesn't swear but there is several "shut your mouths" "no way and you can't make me" and other phrases full of attitude. Our son has aspergers so he is very hard work but i try so hard to give her positive attention but when she constantly speaks to me like this it is so hard to stay calm. No amount of punishing confiscating or taking treats away works -in fact it just escalates the situation. Ignoring works a bit but when she starts using the attitude in front of other people to get attention I snap. When she was 3 we went through exactly the same but with tantrums she just NEVER gives up and you will NEVER win. Things between myself and my dh aren't great at the moment and I understand she is picking up on this but part of the problem is the way she behaves. If she is like this at 10 how will we cope when she is a teenager!!

BadgerIsGrumpy Sat 28-May-16 22:48:42

Are you me? 9 going on 19.
No advice as I seem to be totally fucking it up! flowers

littlemonkey5 Sat 28-May-16 22:53:00

Looks like I am not alone either.

7 year old (nearly 8), I think she has mild depression from my Dad suddenly dying but that doesn't excuse the behaviour. DS1 (5) is also depressed and is doing the same. If anyone has any things that actually work, I'd love to hear them. Never been this bad and we're nearly at breaking point!! (not sure what will happen when we actually get to breaking point but......)

peppajay Sat 28-May-16 22:58:28

My husband is constantly saying we are not hard enough on her as she should just know not to do it if he spoke to his parents the way she does his life wouldn't be worth living, but what can you do to get them to respect you!!

Tippytoes13 Sun 12-Jun-16 00:28:04

My son is the same, he's started calling us and his brother an 'idiot' and tells us to 'shut up'. I'm looking for guidance on how to deal with it. He is a lovely lad, but also disrespectful with the words he's using.

kormachameleon Sun 12-Jun-16 01:44:34

Got to be honest if my 10 year old child told me to shut my mouth they would soon realise what a mistake they had made
How do you punish her ?
She needs very strict rules, give and follow through with punishments and be consistent

Agree a punishment beforehand - DD if you speak to mummy or daddy again like that you will lose favourite toy/game etc

And then take it away if she does.
Do this over and over shins if need be - do not get into discussion or argument just repeat yourself with a stock response - "that is rude and disrespectful, if you do it again you will lose X,y,z, follow through and ignore the ensuing tantrums

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