anyone had any success with. ..(12 Posts)
getting an easily distracted, chronic faffer to become more organised and mature.
Dd is only two years off secondary school which isnt long really. all this allocation talk has got me worried a bit. the school dd is likely to get isn't great. so I really need to be able to get her to motivate and focus herself with regards to her work and her learning.
she can be so capable with some things but wheb it comes to school work although she's doing well, she's crap at remembering to hand in homework and she will sit staring at the work and get distracted and seems to need constant re focussing at home.
she's getting to the age where I should be able to start leaving her on her own to go to the shops or pop round fir a cup of tea at the neighbours house, and whereas I can trust her to not burn the house down or do something stupid. I also know if I leave her to do her work I will come home to it not being done. either because she got distracted watching a bird in the garden or because she didn't think to try and solve a problem.which would allow her to carry on
fir example, thinking to look something up on the ipad if she got stuck.
her attention is always on the wrong thing. if she broke a pencil shed sit and re sharpen fifty times rather than find a pen. I really need her to start thinking a bit more logically and remembering what she's been told ready fir catching the bus etc.
any of you successfully managed to turn this around? and if so, how?
Have a google of ADD or ADHD...but in girls specifically. Organisational skills and maturity play a huge part in it as well as the distractability.
At that age DD was terribly absent-minded and disorganised. The school were considering asking the Ed Psych to come and observe with a view to starting the assessment process for ADD or dyspraxia, but she had delayed development in other areas, so they decided to wait and see.
She is now in Y7 at a school with high academic standards where all of the pupils are expected to join at least three clubs and do extra things for the school. She has to get the bus there.
To be honest, I wondered how she would cope, and spent the first term setting up systems, lists and timetables to help her remember everything.
Then she started to get the hang of it, and in the second term she declared that she was going to organise herself and be independent. Amazingly, she has managed. Homework is being handed in on time and she seems to always be in the correct place with the correct stuff.
When she gets tired, she does lose focus, and there's a bit of gazing into space. At parents' evening, two teachers mentioned concerns about concentration problems, but have moved her to the front or away from the window.
Sorry for the essay. My point was that these things sometimes improve with age.
Before I forget, something that really helps is giving her a snack (banana or something) when she first gets in from school. Also making sure she gets enough sleep.
luckily she's not away witg the fairies at school. .in fact she's pretty hard working and teachers are really happy with her.
which of course makes it very hard to work out if she's doing it on purpose or not.... just seems lately she's forgetting everything. for instance I tell her we are going to X go get ready and twenty mins later she's back down the stairs looking for her purse (not needed ) wearing the most inappropriate fir designated trip she could possibly find and then she asks where we are going.
it's that I need to get her out if really. I need her to think about what we are doing and what she needs to do fir it.
she never used to be that dosy. which is really really strange but the constant reminders are getting exhausting I have a younger child to sort out to and really I should he able to leave her to get on with it.
she is always moaning she's tired though. she's in bed by half seven up at half six. not sure what she dies in bed but she's always saying she git no sleep.
I think your expectations of her self-organising are very high for a 9 yr old. She will get better with age. School made an effort to 'train' children in yr6 to take more responsibility in readiness for secondary school. Secondary school does expect more but most DC rise to it and again school do prod them still eg teachers put homework detail & due date online.
2 years until secondary - that is huge in terms of the amount they grow and change.
And things you didn't think they would ever manage (eg handing in homework) become part of everyday life, so they 'get' it once at secondary.
I have one in year 8 and one in year 6. With both it has amazed me how much they change in that last year in primary.
So, while I would be encouraging her along the road to being more organised, I would really not stress about it, and just keep plodding at it.
And dd1 (aged 11) can be just like this, fiddling with something irrelevant instead of getting the relevant stuff ready and then wondering why I am irritated she is late. It is part of growing up really,
dh can be the same
Hormones start to play a part too, that may be causing the tiredness. I got dd1 some teen multi vitamins this year, and I am sure they have helped in a few areas.
But if you really think she is chronically tired, or that some of this is new, it may be worth getting her checked over by the gp. Could she be anaemic for example?
That's really good to know that it can change that much. the reason I wanted to start early was to avoid overloading her now.
with some things she is more than capable. for instance she can follow a recipe from start to finish with very little help and really loves baking cakes.
I'm glad school do help pepare then I'm. not sure I can achieve it all at home when she doesn't feel the need to amd is unresponsive.
I am going to pick her up some vitamins today actually
I should add that my youngest is in year 3, and 8 and so one year younger than yours. She is about 10 million miles away from anything approaching doing anything for herself. Yet I know that is 1-2 years time, I will be leaving her on her own for short periods, letting her go to the shop etc etc.
That's the stupid thi g she can do plenty fir herself. o cab send her onto shops to get stuff, she can sort out her own lunch, put washing on and drying on etc
which is why it's so surprising wheb a simple task like sending her to go get her book to read or set something up to do her homework or get ready to go out results in her suddenly being incapable if remembering the instruction between the top and bottom of the stairs
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