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Using bad language

(6 Posts)
ballynacargy Thu 14-Jan-16 11:58:32

Hi, My daughter, who's just turned 11, has called me "B.tch" twice, once to my face, wherein I sent her up to her room, where she cried, I hugged her later and told her it would get hard trying to control/understand her emotions and that I loved her but no cursing at me allowed. Yesterday she mouthed the word "B.tch" as me, so I sternly told her off and also took five euro from her money and told her I would take five euro off her every time she cursed. This really upset her. Shes still not talking to me this morning. Is this too harsh and/or how do I make her understand calling me curse names is not an option. Help. Any advice appreciated.

fieldfare Thu 14-Jan-16 12:07:51

Nope, not too harsh at all. Start as you mean to go on.
She has to be respectful of you, she can be mad at you but we don't call one another mean names.

Swearing generally, well my Dd is 13 and doesn't swear very often at all. Last night through frustration with the printer she used the word "bloody", which I quite honestly didn't bother about. It was being a bloody pain in the bum and not working!

I think your sanctions are reasonable, I'd give ways for the money to be earns back by doing a chore that you really don't like doing and is a bit arduous. But you have to reinforce that it's not ok to be verbally abusive to anyone, least of all your mother!

ballynacargy Thu 14-Jan-16 12:16:57

thanks for advice, Fieldfare. Good idea about winning money back, will think up a chore for her. Must remember to model better behaviour myself though, I have been known to swear myself, so she threw that at me, which is fair enough... herein lies the problem perhaps.

Jw35 Thu 14-Jan-16 12:19:25

Not at all harsh! That's really shocking behaviour. My dd is 12, I've had 'I hate you' in a fit of temper but name calling is totally wrong.

fieldfare Fri 15-Jan-16 08:07:17

There's a difference though between swearing at someTHING inanimate because you're frustrated or cross and swearing at someONE with vitriol.
I'm assuming that you've explained to her at another time why it's unacceptable? Reinforce that message at non confrontational moments (I find in the car is handy as there's no direct eye contact), it might help.

TwoTooManyKidz Mon 25-Jan-16 14:32:42

A child is only as smart as its parent.

I'm sorry but if you're known to swear around the house, how can you expect DD not to do so?

I really do not understand some people.

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