Advanced search

I've hurt DS's feelings

(4 Posts)
madmotherof2 Wed 13-Jan-16 17:32:45

I'm already feeling crap but I'm prepared for a back lash on this one.

DS is 12. He's always been a tall, broad build. He's sporty ( plays football at least 3 times a week and rugby once) and has a good appetite. I've been concerned that since he started secondary school he's lost his 2 miles a day school walk ( as he gets a bus - no choice as school 15 miles away) so I've been worried that his exercise has dropped.

I always provide veg at tea time, fruit in lunch box etc, always fruit available. He has a good, varied diet.

He was weighed at a Hosp app last week and when I looked on a BMI calculator he is over weight ( I was looking as I was concerned he looked like he'd gained weight)

Now here comes the crap part. I upset him at bedtime one day last week. I walked in on him getting ready for bed and made a comment about him needing to be careful of what he eats. sad shit I know.

At the time he seemed ok ( but he was just going to bed) but he's been subdued and snappy since. He went to his Dad's for the weekend and came home with a tummy ache. We've had an argument this evening and he's blurted out that I really upset him and that he'd barely eaten all weekend ( hence the tummy ache) and that he's become very self concious getting ready for PE ( hiding in corners to get dressed sad)

I had noticed he's not eaten so much the last couple of days, but I know they've been covering healthy eating at school so I assumed it was to do with that.

I don't know what to do now, ever since he told me he's been sobbing. It's obviously really bothering him. I feel like I've destroyed his confidence.

Any tips, I've already made enough mistakes, don't want to get the next bit wrong!

madmotherof2 Wed 13-Jan-16 20:09:00


cdtaylornats Mon 18-Jan-16 11:37:22

Perhaps he is gaining weight in preparation for a growth spurt.

Baressentials Mon 18-Jan-16 11:53:00

Oh Op, I feel for you and your ds. no I don't think you should have made that comment but who the hell always thinks before they speak? You clearly come from a good place.
Afraid i have no advice as to what you say now. But please don't beat yourself up. Maybe look up info on having a strong healthy body to share with him? Rather than it be focussed on weight?

My 10year old has the physique of a 15 year old (big boobs, hips) people never say how tall she is, instead they use the word "big" when they mean tall. She has the tiniest thighs and waist - certainly not big! Yet calls herself fat. I don't know how best to get through to her either.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: