Help around house....12 and 10 year olds(36 Posts)
Hi all. How much do your children help
Out around the house? Mine are driving me crazy! All they want to do is sit around on the x box. When I ask them to do the smallest of jobs all hell breaks lose! They are both quite mature and more than capable but they are lazy! So, do other peoples kids help out??!!
I have a 10 year old. They get computer time, but only on the understanding that when I ask for help, they help. 10 year old manages:
steam clean floors
can load and unload dishwasher
can wash up and dry up
load the washing machine, fold and put away clean clothes
they also have to keep their room tidy and if it's a tip in the morning, no computer time all day.
You have to use whats important to them, and take it away if they abuse it.
At first I made mine do all the jobs before computer time (not the whole list above, just what needed doing!), but they are better at it now, and will leave computer to do what is asked. My 10 y/o will also do some stuff off their own back (not all the time though!)
Mine are the same age. One boy, one girl (and it's my son who's more helpful!).
They will, when asked (and often after a bit of groaning and whinging), load washing machine, put their ironed clothes away, empty dishwasher, set the table, clear the table, hoover and mop. Trying to get them to keep their bedrooms tidy is an ongoing mission however....
Also trying to train them to wash up / dry up though whenever we leave them to it they just argue and squabble with one another!
At 12 and 10 you can and should expect DC to take care of their own rooms and to tidy up after themselves (bathroom, kitchen) and not leave a trail.
However DC are not servants and should not be asked to do general chores.
Why not bobo? They live in the house same as everyone else. Why shouldn't they contribute?
Because they are children. They aren't allowed to work for money to contribute to the household budget and making them do general chores is merely a way of getting round child labour laws.
Ha ha... child labour! Mine are chained to the sink till the kitchen is spotless!
I have had success this week with writing a list of chores that need to be done by noon on Christmas Eve. So instead of (IMO) vague jobs like tidy your room I have written "empty all the upstairs bins", "put on a dark wash", "clean the bathroom sink and toilet". Everyone saw the list and had to sign up for at least three jobs. Everyone has done what they signed up for and if a job wasn't done I knew who to
nag blame chase. Nobody felt hard done by and there was a good combination of small and longer jobs. It was a fairly long list though but the only things left are a bit of food shopping and some wrapping - both of which are actually things I signed up for
Well, that's an interesting point of view Bobo
As far as I'm concerned, all members of the household contribute to general mess and dirt and as such, should help to keep on top of it! It's the start of teaching them to be all round responsible members of society , not child labour!!!
There's a bit of a difference between child labour and helping out around the house Bobo!
My mum used to make me empty the dishwasher and hoover the living room. Is better contact the police immediately - had no idea she was using me as child labour!
Thanks for enlightening me, bobo.
Children are not servants , they should not be asked to do general household chores
So what if you are not rich enough to have servants , who does the aforementioned household chores ?
I was trying to explain to my pre-teen kids that if they get to 16 and are unable to manage basic life skills like washing, ironing, cooking and taking care of oneself, I have failed as a parent. They have a few years to learn and practice.
They grunted back at me!
Madthing2 is 13 and madthing3 is 11 today. Like their siblings they are expected to pitch in as and when asked. So stuff like setting abd clearing table, sorting laundry, hoovering etc all age appropriate stuff. Washing up, drying up and basic cooking. They get their own bfast in yhe mornings and will get their own lunch.
General stuff like picking up after themselves, emptying lunch boxes, sorting uniforms and pe kits and keeping bedrooms tidy is expected then other stuff is as an when required, we don't have a set job routine but they are expected to help when asked.
The rule in this house is we all make the mess so we all have to help tidy up.
Pmsl at the child labour comment.
I have four boys and a daughter. They are all learning general household organisation, cooking etc as they are life skills. I am their parent not their servant so we all help each other.
I think kids should help, it's good for them to have responsibilities. I don't do strict lists of chores though. I like my dd to do her own room and I try to give her the more fun and easy jobs. She likes to do a bit of cooking. I'm not the world's best housewife though so things do get procrastinated by me and I don't feel I can tell dd off for what I do myself.
I genuinely believed I was raising two children to be capable adults but now I realise, thanks to Bobo that I am in fact raising servants
So in Bobo's house, when exactly do the children begin to learn how to do these chores? <remembers being at uni with 3 people who couldn't even cook a basic meal or clean up after themselves, maybe they had servants at home>
My two boys are 12 and 9, both have set days on which they set the table for dinner, both boys clear the table, wipe it down and put placemats away. Both keep rooms clean and tidy. Ds1 empties dishwasher, both strip their beds and put bedding into washing machine and put it on, both boys put their bedding back on the bed, so fitted sheet on and duvet into cover etc. Like they have had to do on residential school trips since they were 8.
They know what is expected of them, and if we ask extra and they complain they lose tech in all forms. They help unpack a car after any shopping trips, help cook meals. Basically ask the question, what can I do to help?
Bobo, that's both hilarious and ridiculous. I can imagine all the tribunals around the world . How will children fend for themselves if you don't teach them until they start earning a wage? What if they don't work in paid work until after university, is that still slave labour?
Both my DSSs are at university and have absolutely no difficulties at all taking care of themselves . It's hardly rocket science to cook, clean and do laundry - it doesn't require years of laborious training, but rather clear standard setting.
Personally I disagree with the notion that if you don't teach them young they'll turn into lazy feckless adults.
I didn't do much around the house when I was young, yet I managed to cook, clean and look after myself when it was necessary.
I'm not saying children should do nothing, I teach my dc that we're a family and we all muck in together. However I think children work much harder at school than they used to and are under more pressure. And I also believe that there should be plenty of time for children to mill around and daydream etc.
It's about balance. Of course children should help out a bit but some are doing too much.
Mine keep their rooms clean, make their sandwiches for school, and empty the dishwasher. They also do instrument practice every night. If they do all that they get £5 pocket money each.
It's great, it really helps me and its part of their routine now so no moaning or anything.
My 9 year old is responsible for keeping his room tidy and his bed made, he puts his empty lunch box and water bottle on the kitchen every day after school and school related letters for me to read. He brings down his dirty washing/cups every morning, sets the table, feeds the cats some mornings and also helps out a fair bit with his baby sister and younger brother, in all honesty he chooses to do that without me asking. He doesn't do a lot compared to a lot of children on this thread, but as he gets a bit older, I will add other responsibilities for him. I think it's important to strike a balance!
They can do everything. Empty bins, wash up, put a wash on, vacuum, clean the bathroom, cook and so on. The 12 year old can iron. I've shown them all things. They might not do them that well but there's time for improvement; they also don't do them as a set chore but will if asked.
11, 8, 6
All help load/unload dishwasher
Unload/load washing machine
Put away their own washing
Help clean out car and wash outside
11 yr old has a go at cutting grass and hoovering
Things like putting loo roll on when needed
Putting shopping away
General help tidying up their own crap
Not much really!
No whinging allowed
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