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DS (10) has shocking road safety...help.

9 replies

nobodysfool · 16/12/2015 21:46

DS is 10 and a half. He is very bright (top of class for everything, passed 11 plus with flying colours) but no matter how many times I have explained/ demonstrated crossing roads he fails. 3 times I have had to pull him out of the road even when he has 'looked'. He stands away from the kerb, does all the right motions but doesn't seen to be actually looking! I have now banned him from walking to and from school and remind him at every road what to do and why but he still keeps making mistakes and I'm scared that one day his mistake could be fatal. I had his eyes checked so I know it's nothing physical.
I have shown him road safety videos online to try and scare him into waking up, what else can I do? Any advice would be grateful .I'm at my wits end.

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akkakk · 16/12/2015 22:01

a child doesn't have full ability to judge speed etc. until an older age... or to necessarily get the concepts... it will come! Some children do it well, others don't...

you can help by putting him in charge of every time you cross the road together - his telling you when to go etc. - (though obviously not going if it means instant squashing!)

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Sundance2741 · 21/12/2015 08:08

Don't remind him every time. He won't be listening most probably. Get him to tell you what he is going to do. Then watch him practice. Ask him to tell you if he did it the right way.

Btw does he even want to walk to school alone? Maybe he's not ready for that yet? My dd is the same age. She would have to walk along a busy road and cross another main road to get to school. We have just been letting her walk the last part alone on the quieter roads. I watch her cross the main road (green man crossing) and then leave her to continue. We plan to build it up gradually.

I have an older child who is less sensible than the ten year old - she was nearly 12 before she regularly went out alone.

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RebootYourEngine · 21/12/2015 08:14

My 11 yr old ds can walk the 10 mins to school alone ok but see when we are out he is useless at crossing roads. He waits for me to tell him to cross. Could your ds be the same?

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YesterdayOnceMore · 21/12/2015 08:15

Not quite as old, but my 8 year old DS is just like this. I think his brain is on higher things...

I have no solutions though. I think I'll just have to be holding his hand to cross the road even when he's 28...

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YesterdayOnceMore · 21/12/2015 08:18

Also, I totally get what you say about him going through the motions- looking but not seeing. It's not about judging speeds and stepping out when there's not enough time, it's about stopping and turning his head, but then just going without seeing or making a judgement on cars at all (not even a bad judgement). Like there is nothing actually happening in his head.

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ArmchairTraveller · 21/12/2015 08:29

It's very informative to ask Y6 which is the most vulnerable age to be a pedestrian. What age group do they think has the highest number of pedestrian road casualties?
They tend to go for very young (3-5) or very old (75+) and seen as slow and deaf.

It's actually 11-13, when they start going out and about, travelling to school unaccompanied and being in a mob with friends whilst they have their headphones in or are using their phone.

I agree that the best option is to get him to tell you when it's safe to cross, with you there as the safeguard. Like learning to drive in a dual control car.
Identify safe crossing points on familiar routes, and use them as a matter of habit.

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lynniep · 21/12/2015 09:02

My nearly 9 year old is that child too. I have been letting him and his friend walk to school (its only 2 minutes away) one day a week, and meeting them at the gates to make sure they get there. They do, but I don't think they entirely get it. Yesterday, he stopped to tie his shoelaces IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I was ahead of him and yelled to him to get to the kerb. His response was that he'd checked for cars before he crossed. WAAAH!!

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gingerdad · 21/12/2015 09:05

Best solution for my DD was getting knocked down. And I'm not joking was incredibly lucky as was hit by a Land Rover as walked in front of the school bus. He was going very slowly so beyond a few cuts she was and is fine. But it improved the whole school years road safety.