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How much does your 12/13 year old dd go out with friends?

(4 Posts)
Dancergirl Sat 31-Oct-15 22:06:13

My middle dd (12.5, Year 8) has been really miserable this evening as she had no Halloween plans. She tried a few friends, they were either away for half term or had plans and no suggestion that she could join sad

To make things worse, dd1 went T or T ing with friends and then came back here for pizza. Dd1 did offer that middle dd could go with them which was nice for her but she didn't want to. I think the real problem for dd is that she thinks everyone is having a brilliant social life and she doesn't. I know social media is partly to blame for this and I have suggested that dd either comes off Instagram or takes it all with a large pinch of salt, but dd says they all talk about what they get up to at school as well.

Dd does have some nice friends but she isn't really in a close group or has one best friend, either of which I know she would like. She (or I) always seems to instigate any social arrangements and I think she's finding it all hard work.

Dd is very sensitive and takes it all to heart. I try and be supportive but I just don't know how to help her.

JustDanceAddict Thu 05-Nov-15 09:21:10

DD is 13 (year 9) and has a couple of really good friends and some other friends who are less close, but she sees them in a group. She finds it quite hard to make firm friends as she is quite reserved, although a lovely girl, she is not as demonstrative as most of the girls. On Halloween she had one of hter best friends stay over, and they met up last minute with 3 other girls from their year locally and went back to one of their houses afterwards. The other best friend was seeing her school friends from primary. DS who is 11 was so worried about not having a Halloween arrangement and he made me text one of his friend's mums who I know as 'everyone else is busy'. This was rubbish as I spoke to a couple of other mums of his friends who actually made very last minute plans.
We struggled in the summer hols with DD as when you only have a couple of friends who you really want to see, and who want to see you, it can get very boring esp as they go away. DS has a much better social life and he is the yougner one, so that can get awkward, however, he is the more outgoing one so it figures.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 05-Nov-15 09:33:15

DD (13 in 8 days if you havent heard her go on) text friends `can u go to xevent?` 4 replies when is is? Text Fri 6pm .,, OK where? ... X place .., 2 replies .., can your mom pick us up? ,.. its like pulling teeth!!
Its hard work arranging anything and if she wants a social life she has to make the effort and take the knock backs. Some girls get known to be organisers, some are known to say yes ... others that say no all the time stop getting invites.

dementedpixie Thu 05-Nov-15 11:32:37

My Dd is not social at all (12 today!) and would prefer to be reading, writing or on the computer than going out. I do feel for her sometimes as she has always got on better with boys than girls. She has also just started high school this year so is in with lots of new people and has no real close friends that she talks about. We are taking her out for dinner and to a fireworks display and for the first time will have no party as she has no one that she wants to invite anywhere sad

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