Show of hands -- whose 11-y-o DD has become sulky and moody?(5 Posts)
Hi all, I am just curious to know how common it is for an 11-yr-old girl to become sulky, moody, tearful, snarky, huffy and just generally hard to get on with?
It's happening with ours (to some degree) and I am just curious to know (a) how common it is, (b) how we might have contributed to it, and (c) how to get through the coming years with sanity mainly intact.
<thrusts hand in air and jiggles in seat>
Well dd has just turned 12 and it started creeping in at about 9 but by the time the first bra had been bought at around 11 she had become a full on proper stroppy adolescent.
Her music teacher summed it up nicely when he said it's a rubbish age. They start going through a load of physical and mental changes and at the same time take them out of primary school and thrust them into secondary.
I don't think we do contribute to it much really although we can add fuel to the fire. I pick my battles wisely. Sympathise with the over dramatic snot and tears and ignore the things it's not worth a fight about. It's an awkward age not a grown up yet but with lots of grown up expectations at secondary school and not a little girl any more either.
Dd also started her periods this year and has a definitive cycle to the more excessive moodiness.
Dd has always been more the temper type rather than sulky/ moody, and I'd definitely say I've noticed a pattern to it. She gets irritable and expresses it with very dry sarcasm, which has always been her go to behavior for bad mood or even justified annoyance. Except now it seems to have a pattern rather than being sparked by anything worthy.
All I've really done is discussed about hormones, how in early teen years you can get the same adult feeling but without the maturity to deal with it, and how while it's understandable, she needs to think how it impacts on others. Eg how does she feel at the time if a hormonal friend snaps at her. And how it doesn't make anyones day any nicer if she and someone else both have needless fall outs because they're having a bad day. I've not been asking her to self analyse everything she says, or condemning her for snapping. Just telling her that while it's normal now, she needs to be able to recognise justified irritation/ snapping in herself, and what stems from lacking the maturity to deal with a load of adult hormones. And same for others, thinking about whether behavior is just out of character having a bad day motivated, or worth falling out over.
So a) normal, b) no and c) not taking it personally
Yup, mine's a bit of a sarky cow too!
She's 11 soon and has been hormonal for a while - mostly physical stuff - hair everywhere, BO etc. In fact, she said this morning that she'd had blood in her knickers so suspect periods have just kicked in too!
Her "go to" communication method is sarcasm or indignance. Particularly where her brother or dad are concerned. Neither of them can do right for doing wrong - it's very wearing and hard for them not to take personally.
I don't get hit with quite the same moodiness but have to live with it and it's not nice. No matter what I tell her about it making her not nice company she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. I hope this phase is not a long one!
Another one here
Turned 11 in October and has been getting moody for a while. Snaps out of it quickly too though. And always apologies.
Her poor younger sister seems to get the brunt of the sarcasm, she is 9, nearly 10 and still not there yet in terms of moodiness and general huffiness and can feel hurt by it at times.
She knows all about the changes and stuff, I'm very open about that - as is she, we've talked a lot about periods and hormones.
Don't think we have contributed, we are a very chilled out family, think it is totally normal.
Can't wait till I've got two of 'em !!!
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