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10 year old in after curfew

(26 Posts)
Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 20:43:59

What woukd you do. He is normally on time, he's been given 30 mins extra out tonight and is now 15 mins beyond that. Would you tell him to be in 15 mins earlier the next night?

BYOSnowman Sat 12-Sep-15 20:46:04

He wouldn't be going out at all the next night

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 20:48:21

I did think about grounding but thought that maybe too harsh

WickedWax Sat 12-Sep-15 20:48:48

He'd be staying in for the rest of the weekend.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 20:49:09

Pressed post too soon, especially with it being Sun tomorrow - will have to ground him for the day

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 20:49:41

Thanks all smile

anorakgirl Sat 12-Sep-15 20:50:18

He would be staying in as he had broken my trust. But a 10 year old still out now?

MissMillament Sat 12-Sep-15 20:51:27

8.30 is a pretty late curfew for a 10 year old in my book. I would definitely ground him for the day tomorrow. Is he back yet? What was his explanation for breaking curfew?

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 20:52:28

Would you ground without screentime?

patterkiller Sat 12-Sep-15 20:53:27

Never give a punishment that is worse for you than your DC. Having him stay in will be hell, give him a god awful chore to do every day this week before he's allowed out. Everyone wins. Sock sorting and bin emptying work here.

CocktailQueen Sat 12-Sep-15 20:57:15

My dd is nearly 12 and she's never been out by herself in an evening. 10yo seems vv young for such a late curfew. It's dark out, Ffs! Where is he? How do you know he's safe?

I'd reconsider how much I could trust him. I'd ground him and give him some chores to do round the house. And then still reconsider the curfew. What's he doing out till now?

Lweji Sat 12-Sep-15 20:58:40

I assume you know he is safe.

MissMillament Sat 12-Sep-15 21:03:20

Yes, totally ground without screen time. I really disagree with the pp on the more awful for you approach. Setting boundaries is really important and sometimes you need to take short term pain for long term gain. 10 is really young to learn that your Mum's boundaries are very elastic. I would really reconsider OP, why he needs to be out and about that late. Obviously, if he is doing some specific activity or visiting a friend's house that is different, but do you know what he is actually doing?

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 21:09:40

He's with his brother playing football so I know he's ok. He's back as I've been to get him

ShooBeeDooBeeDoo Sat 12-Sep-15 21:09:53

Ground without screen time.

Is he back yet?

I think I'm an old fogey. My 10 year old ds has been in bed for almost an hour (but he's been playing in a football tournament all day)

BYOSnowman Sat 12-Sep-15 21:11:28

If he doesn't abide by the curfew he isn't responsible enough to be out on his own.

If all you do is change the time then he will just laugh and ignore the curfew tomorrow.

Do you really let him stay out every night until 8pm?

Lweji Sat 12-Sep-15 21:13:49

You say he's normally on time, so I'd actually just give a warning that next time he would be grounded. And an explanation of why it was important to be on time.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 21:15:23

He says he thought I'd said 9 - er no 9 was never mentioned. He usually has to be near the house at 7.30, in at 8. It seems usual, if not earlier, than other kids on the estate.

I've told him his curfew is now 7.30 and I'll let him know my decision tomorrow about tonight

MissMillament Sat 12-Sep-15 21:15:36

How old is his brother? Do they have different curfew times? Perhaps you need to be clear on that with them and why it is important that the younger one sticks to his.

MissMillament Sat 12-Sep-15 21:16:52

Ah the thought you said defence... I have had that one a few times! I think making the curfew earlier until he can prove he can be trusted is a great idea.

Lweji Sat 12-Sep-15 21:20:02

I think the change in curfew time should be enough.
He was where you expected him to be and just late. Not good that he lied (apparently), and an earlier curfew works until he shows you can trust him to keep to a time.

I really think it's minor and I'd insist on being worried, or messing up dinner times or something.

steppemum Sat 12-Sep-15 21:30:12

we have a constant rule - break curfew and you are grounded next day. Kids know and so there is no arguing over consequence.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sat 12-Sep-15 21:30:48

His brother is 15 and hmmm should be in now but isn't, but thats another issue

MissMillament Sat 12-Sep-15 21:41:38

Well to be fair, if you ground one for breaking curfew you will have to apply the same sanction to the other. Why is it a different story?

Lweji Sat 12-Sep-15 21:42:23

I wonder how responsible he is for the 10 year old being late...

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