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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

DD wants a bra?

29 replies

janethefirst · 25/04/2015 14:07

DD is 11 and lots of her friends wear bras. Unfortunately, she feels a little left out as she is rather flat chested and her friends are starting to grow and I think she gets teased a little bit about it.

I measured her at home and it turns out she's between a 26 and 28 AAA so there's really no point. She's so petite and she doesn't have much to support. If she buys a bra, she said some of her friends will say that she doesn't need one and will tease her about "trying to support what isn't there" but if she doesn't, they all compare bras and talk about there favourite brands so she feels left out.

Her big sister is more like my sister and has average size boobs compared to her friends so wears whatever is available but can not offer much support to her younger sister as she has never been in the same situation as her.

What can I do? On the one hand, I could buy her some bras. But then her friends would tease her, or I can leave it and she will feel left out. I know they are only joking and it's a little banter but I do think she gets a bit insecure. I have a fairly small bust and cup size myself and when I was her age, none of my close friends wore bras.

I thought about maybe getting them before she starts secondary school in September but I really have no clue how to make her feel included with the other girls and maturing when she hasn't started yet.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 25/04/2015 14:11

What about crop tops in a bra style?

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 25/04/2015 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedpixie · 25/04/2015 14:15

What about crop tops in a bra style?

clarad · 25/04/2015 14:16

Yes, I agree with other posters, crop tops certainly seen to be the best option, they offer a little bit of support whilst making your DD feel more grown-up, should seem to help.

janethefirst · 25/04/2015 14:17

Thanks for the quick replies, I never thought of crop tops, will look them up online now, where can I buy the best ones- M&S???

OP posts:
Fairylea · 25/04/2015 14:19

My dd is 12 and wears crop tops from primark and tesco..she's completely flat chested but all her friends wear bras so it's a compromise :)

balletgirlmum · 25/04/2015 14:20

Can I ask what your daughters actual measurements are as AAA doesn't really exist as a size.

But I agree that a nice crop top would be good.

thetroubleis · 25/04/2015 14:21

Primary had some really lovely little crop tops in cream with glitter buttons.
Pretty but not over the top Smile

Heartofgold25 · 25/04/2015 14:22

John lewis next day delivery ~ plain white perfect

GothicRainbow · 25/04/2015 14:23

I would go with crop tops too. Make sure your DD is really involved with choosing them and discuss with her which shop she would like to go to.

Not sure if M&S ones would considered cool enough!

SingingHinnies · 25/04/2015 14:24

My DDs have wore crop tops from being about 7 even though they didn't really need one but everyone else wore one, my 11 year old wears a bra but they have developed quite quickly, other DD was in a bra at 10, as soon as they started to develop i put them into starter bras. MY DM never bother buying me decent underwear and when she did buy some they never fit properly (DM didn't talk to me about anything re womans stuff).
Is it not due to PE Op at school and getting changed, she maybe feels uncomfortable wearing nothing when the other girls are. If she asked for one i would buy some for her

SingingHinnies · 25/04/2015 14:27

these are pretty, in between a bra and crop top

AnguaResurgam · 25/04/2015 14:27

Try Debenhams for both bras and crop tops (and a halfway house that looks like a bra shaped crop top).

I don't think AAA cups exist any more. What are her actual measurements?

SingingHinnies · 25/04/2015 14:29

It might also be although she is small and doesn't need a bra her nipples might be showing through her top or rubbing on it

youngestisapyscho · 25/04/2015 14:31

My daughter had these... They are more bra shaped and have adjustable straps.

www.marksandspencer.com/2-pack-santoni-seamfree-crop-tops/p/p22204694

janethefirst · 25/04/2015 14:35

Frame size is 26 and Bust size is a little over 26 and my friend told me this was AAA, though I thought it didn't exist, just supposed it was a new thing as girls are wearing bras when they are younger and smaller nowadays.

If it isn't a real size then I guess she is just a AA then balletgirlmum

OP posts:
janethefirst · 25/04/2015 14:38

I love the Jasper Conran ones, DD is out at the moment but I will ask her to look when she gets in. My older DD approves though, so they must be okay and cool enough. Grin

OP posts:
balletgirlmum · 25/04/2015 14:43

She's a 26 AA/A then. (Did you measure her over bust whilst she was as bending over?

Most bras don't start til 28 band anyway but she may be feeling self conscious if she has tiny buds that can be seen through school blouses etc.

Pretty much all childrens wear depts do the crop tops so see what she likes.

SingingHinnies · 25/04/2015 14:51

Im the opposite of you op, its going to be a nightmare with my DD's im double D and my DM is about the same but the woman on their DFs side all had huge boobs, some have had reductions and some are just still huge, think double G and H, its worse as they are bigger built but my DDs are really tall and skinny making them look even bigger, buds appeared out of nowhere and now they just keep growing, my 13 year old is a D and it looks like the 11 year old is heading that way as well.

balletgirlmum · 25/04/2015 14:57

My 13 year old dd is a nicely proportioned girl - she is 28 D which isn't that big (though m & s wanted her in a 32A

SingingHinnies · 25/04/2015 15:09

balletgirlmum are you worried about how big they will get, i have to say i am as a few of the woman on their paternal side have had health issues due to the size of theirs. Would be happy if they stop at a D/DD but i don't think they will

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toldmywrath · 25/04/2015 15:21

I remember my dear mum buying my first bras-they were lovely (at first glance), 2 bras- white with large green spots on& white with large pink spots on . Unfortunately they showed through my white school blouses & I was teased by the boys at my secondary school. You might want to bear that in mind as I've never forgotten the teasing (I was age 12)

balletgirlmum · 25/04/2015 15:21

Not at all.

I'm a 32 DD & dd is a similar build that I was at her age, perhaps a bit smaller.
(I used to be 34/36 C until I was resized properly. )

janethefirst · 25/04/2015 16:12

toldmywrath luckily she's going to an all girl's school and the tops are dark and at the moment she wears a pinafore over her shirt but I will bear that in mind for sports as they wear white polos!!

And balletgirlmum I measured when she was stood upright, am I supposed to measure when she is leant over??

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