My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

What time is 'lights out' for your year six kids?

41 replies

Jinglebellsarenearlyhere · 16/04/2015 22:03

so my DD age 11 is doing the can't get to sleep phase. Until now she's been asleep easily by 8pm but I wonder if this is too early.

Also what do you do with this age group of a weekday evening. I'm not used to her being around in the evenings and so she ends up mine crafting which adds to the problems.

Old routine was 5:30 I get home from work, do her supper. TV / computer off at 7. Bath, story, lights out 7:30, asleep by 8. Then DH gets home from work around 7:30 - 8 and it's supper, TV or chill out time.

Now she is around after 8. I feel my evening does not start until 9/10 and I'm cross and wound up.

Sorry bit of a rant. I need a new evening routine / pattern. What do you do?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 16/04/2015 22:18

dd (11) has a 9pm bedtime weeknights and 10pm at weekends/holidays

Runnaway · 16/04/2015 22:28

Lights off at half eight for my 8 & 10 year olds. 10 year old often asleep earlier, but the 8 year old is often awake much, much later, though she has sleep problems and drives us mad!!!

I sympathise with you wanting some peace, but your dd's bedtime seems very early for her age.

Runnaway · 16/04/2015 22:30

Perhaps have a rule that she stays in her room and reads quietly rather than mine craft which probably stimulates her to stay awake.

Hulababy · 16/04/2015 22:31

In y6 - probably bed by 8am, lights off about 8:30. A bit later on drama nights as not home til later.

DH gets home from work and we eat together about 7pm so 7:30pm would be too early for us.

She's older now and bedtime is later. You get used to them being downstairs later, though actually DD does now often take herself off upstairs earlier to read (or sometimes watch something on Netflix)

morethanpotatoprints · 16/04/2015 22:32

My dd doesn't have a set time and self regulates as a bad sleeper to begin with and can get up at what time she likes, usually.
Alot of her friends this age go to bed around 9pm on school night and 10/10.30 ish or later at weekends.

ragged · 16/04/2015 22:34

Shut in room not bothering me at 9pm.

Variousrandomthings · 16/04/2015 22:39

mine puts himself to bed at 7.30 generally - occasionally its 7 or 8. He gets very tired. our routine goes

5.00 tea, 5.45 board game, 6.45 get ready for bed, 7.00 read, lights out 8pm at latest

Have her read in bed at 8pm. You can start her evening, then do lights out at 8.30

TeddTess · 17/04/2015 10:02

i close the kitchen at 8pm ! ie no more asking for drinks, biscuits, crumpets etc... so as they (DD1 11, DD2 9) still like their bedtime snack they have to be downstairs in pjs for that by 8pm

i chivvy DD2 into bed so she is normally in bed reading by 8.15 and asleep shortly after 8.30
DD1 goes up with her but i let her potter about, she gets to bed by herself and i try and remember to turn off her light around 9.30. sometimes she is asleep sometimes in bed reading. she's a big reader though so she is happy going to bed to read. she is up around 6.30 so certainly i wouldn't put her to bed earlier.

i tell them no screens after 7pm.

iseenodust · 17/04/2015 10:10

DS yr 6 is upstairs for 8.30pm for shower/reading/quiet chat and lights off 9pm and that stays the same most weekends.

DS does a lot of sport at the moment so the routine tends to be collect from school, have a snack & do homework, go to sports club, eat with us at 7pm, 30 mins on tablet (Minecraft/FIFA), tablet has to go off at 8pm so then play in garden or 30mins TV, upstairs at 8.30pm.

StrumpersPlunkett · 17/04/2015 10:21

Monday's
home at 5.30
dinner at 6pm
Homework 6.30
shower at 7.30 bed 8pm lights off 8.30pm
Tuesdays
home 4.30
Dinner 5.30
Football 6pm
Homework 6.30
shower at 7.30 bed 8pm lights off 8.30pm
Wednesday
home 6.-6.30
Dinner straight away
shower at 7.30 bed 8pm lights off 8.30pm
Thursday
home 4.30
Dinner 6.00
Homework 6.30
shower at 7.30 bed 8pm lights off 8.30pm
Friday
Home 4.30
Homework 5.00
Dinner 6.00
Scouts 7pm
Shower 9.30 lights off by 10pm
Saturday
Shower by 7.30 - family tv time - lights off by 9.30/10
Sunday
shower at 7.30 bed 8pm lights off 8.30pm

TheFirstOfHerName · 17/04/2015 17:23

I have two children in Year 6.
During term time, we have a rule that screens go off at 7.30.
They take themselves to bed and read or listen to music (with headphones).
They usually turn their own lights out between 8 and 8.30.

I am reluctant for them to get in the habit of going to bed later because I remember how tiring the older two found the first term of Year 7. If they are managing well by the middle of Y7, then we'll think about a 9pm bedtime.

TeenAndTween · 17/04/2015 21:02

10.5 yo DD2, upstairs from 7:30, lights out 8:15/8:30 asleep by 9, woken up for school 7:40.

(Nearly 16yo DD1, upstairs from 8/8:30 puts own light out 9:30ish asleep 10/10:15, alarm wake up 7:30. If no one wakes her she'd sleep until past 9am.)

No electronics upstairs.

After 8pm TV choice is adult choice.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 17/04/2015 21:07

Between 9 and 9.30 weeknights, it's not lights off, just go to bed, but he does go off to sleep pretty quickly, we've always let them do their own lights out and they are sensible about it. TV is adults choice after 7 and finished by 8, but he's out at activities in that time slot some nights anyway. I get on with stuff I need to do till about 8.30 then turn my attention back to the DCs for 30-60 mins.

fredabear · 18/04/2015 15:40

bed between 8.30-9.30 depending on what activities are on

Jinglebellsarenearlyhere · 18/04/2015 23:44

Thanks all. I'm going to amend current practice and make bed time later.

Can I ask what people do if child complains they can't get to sleep after usual routine and trying for a bit.

OP posts:
balletgirlmum · 18/04/2015 23:47

Electronics downstairs at 8.30pm. In bed by 9pm.

balletgirlmum · 18/04/2015 23:49

Ds does find it difficult to get to sleep but he is not allowed downstairs after 9pm. He's very Squeamish so if he tries it on we find a medical or birth programme to put on TV & that soon sends him scuttling back off to bed!

Heartofgold25 · 25/04/2015 11:56

shower/bath -7pm
reading for half an hour
Chat time with one or both of us to 8pm (sometimes a touch later)
lights off 8.15pm
No electronics Monday to Friday
I can't cope with no having any 'downtime' either it makes me grumpy, so I aim to be relaxing by 8.30pm, and the children are in bed no later than this except for Saturday nights, otherwise I can't go to sleep at 10pm as I am still wired.

wizzler · 03/05/2015 18:31

Screens off at 8pm
Bed at 9pm

Wanttobemagistrate · 03/05/2015 18:38

These seem early to me. DS (11) has a theoretical bedtime of 9, lights out at 9.30 min reality both of these happen up to half an hour later. He doesn't wake until 7.30am then snuggles in bed with me until 8 when we get up for school.

Most of his friends go to bed around 9ish.

redskybynight · 03/05/2015 18:42

DS has 3 nights a week where clubs mean he isn't in bed till 9pm. On the other nights we aim for an 8.30pm bedtime but he generally reads until at least 9pm anyway. he is still up at 6am- I am hopeful that going to secondary school may finally convince him to sleep in!!

Oh and we don't have lights out, he still likes to sleep with the light on Grin

cece · 03/05/2015 18:42

Aim for 9pm and definitely by 9.30 but then I also have a teenager who goes to bed 9.30 at the earliest. Evenings? Bah! I have actually gone to bed before my 14 year old once or twice!

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

cece · 03/05/2015 18:45

Just read the thread! OMG there is no way on earth that he would be ready for bed before 9pm. My 6 year old goes at 7.30!!

DontCallMeBaby · 03/05/2015 18:48

I read to DD and aim to be done by 9.45. Big strops (me!) if it's much later. Can be later at the weekend though.

She's up at 7.15 for school, 6.45 on a Friday, much later at the weekend. I figure it's a bit of a transitional phase - bedtime is lateish, but still needs/wants us around. It's a bit wearing though.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 03/05/2015 18:55

Ds2 is soon to be 11. He goes to bed at 8:45pm and reads until he wants to sleep. He regulates his own lights out time.

Both him and ds1(12) are night owls so don't turn their lights off very early all the time. Nothing worse than laying there unable to sleep Ime so I let them get on with it.

They are both doing well at school and we don't have issues with waking them up in the mornings.

You do get used to children being around more in the evenings. It won't be that long though before I go to bed before my children because I like an early bedtime and I wake earlyConfused

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.