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DD (10) struggling to manage her feelings at school

(4 Posts)
janx Fri 16-Jan-15 21:09:01

My daughter is popular, bright, funny and generally very happy. She is also very sensitive and super hard on herself. She is in the top set for maths, but struggles when she gets something wrong and often bursts into tears in class. Her teacher is lovely and he is kind and supportive, but she is really embarrassed as none of her friends cry in this sort of situation. Does anyone have any recommendations for coping stragies? I have spoken to the teacher to see if she needs to go down a set, but he assures me she can do the work, but really panics. Things seem to be getting more heated and I wonder if it is hormone related too

bunchoffives Fri 16-Jan-15 21:39:07

Do I understand this right - that she is crying after something has been marked and she has got it wrong?

If so, it sounds like perhaps she has a very competitive group of friends - perhaps they make snide comments?

Or could this all be self-imposed pressure? Might be worth telling your DD that you don't think any less of her if she gets something wrong! In fact failure is good because that's how you learn, particularly at school!

Either way, is she confident in asking for help/explanations from her teacher? Perhaps he could have an encouraging word to persuade her that failure isn't the end of the world and to ask for help.

I'm sure hormones could be playing a part if she's normally a bit more phlegmatic, but I'd still investigate why it's bothering her so much.

janx Fri 16-Jan-15 22:34:43

She is crying when working on a particular problems in class, the teacher goes over the class work together, to see if everyone is on track. She has lovely friends, no-one is being nasty. She is piling pressure on herself - we praise her and tell her it's ok to make mistakes.

lateblooming Sat 17-Jan-15 22:45:07

Sounds like she is a bit of a perfectionist and does not stand any failure. Maybe she feels she will not be worthy if she does not achieve and that is unbearable for her. maybe you could work with her on accepting that we can all make mistakes at times and that's ok. We can just laugh this mistakes off...

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