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11 year old toilet problems

(3 Posts)
JaneD33 Tue 09-Dec-14 19:46:13

Hello lovely Mums (& Dads),

I've lurked for a while, but never got around to joining before. Really enjoyed reading through all of the threads though, so thanks for all of the help and advice.

My son is 11, and seems to have a problem with the occasional toilet accident - sometimes it's an issue with not quite getting there in time, but other times the need seemingly comes from nowhere and he is left wet and embarrassed.

Now I do mean occasional, this probably only happens once every 4-6 weeks, and has never really been a massive issue - we've just dealt with it without embarrassing him, but I'm worried that he will go to high school next year and having an accident there would be massively worse than at home or even at junior school.

Had never really regarded it as much of an issue, he's just been a bit more accident prone than the norm, but obviously it's time to try and get on top of it. Amongst his friends there do seem to be the very occasional accident still even at 10 and 11, but not as often as he seems to struggle - guess it's just fortunate for him that in the main they haven't been all that public.

Going back 9 years or so, he potty trained with no problem, and has been dry at night since he was about 4/5. Still do have the odd nighttime mishap, but no more than maybe 3/4 per year.

The not quite getting there in time I suspect is simply a case of getting caught up in what he is doing, and leaving it until the last minute - sure we are all guilty of that at times. Yes it's not great having damp pants to deal with, but with help I'm sure we can get him into a routine of going earlier.

It's the full blown puddles that are more of a worry. At 11 I'd have hoped he would have been long past such accidents - ok a one off would be one thing, but even a handful of times a year seems a lot. Apart from one slipup in a fairground queue over the summer, his 9 year old brother hasn't had an accident for about 3 years (and is dry at night...except for a single, out of nowhere accident last night, which I think I jinxed myself with when I posted similar comments about him being dry elsewhere! sad My own fault I think, caused by a late night drink...but he was still horrified!)

Would greatly appreciate any help and advice in supporting him with this, and helping to prevent any embarrassment come September when he starts at 'big' school.


ContentedSidewinder Wed 10-Dec-14 09:18:22

I have a son (and a DH) who just can't hold in a wee, so when they need to go they really need to go.

Ds1 has just started secondary and the drinks they buy for lunch are bottles that hold 500ml!!! He has a scheduled toilet breaks. We use the if you have time and there are toilets, use them so that he is emptying his bladder on a regular basis.

I think children can and do ignore the signs of needing the toilet. So Ds1 (following the occasional accident in the day) now empties his bladder at specific times, ie just before he leaves the house, break, lunch, just before he comes home. He walks to school now he is at secondary.

Have a look at the ERIC website, you are not alone, people just don't talk about it.

And do fill their bladders, ie don't cut down on liquids, they need to have the capacity to be able to hold a big wee. We went down the route of measuring the amount ds1 took in and how much he peed out. There are guidelines on ERIC. We did this over a summer holiday when he was 10.

Heyho111 Thu 11-Dec-14 19:51:42

It might be worth popping him to your gp just to check there isn't a mechanical problem.
He may also not have a great warning system. He may need to schedual toilet breaks and stick to a routine.

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