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can violence run in familys.

(4 Posts)
ghostspirit Thu 27-Nov-14 17:17:28

not sure if im posting in right place....

Anyway my son is 12 years old. he has never seen his father so he has not lived with or seen an sort of violence. He used to be so so mellow most easyest going kid i have known. he liked things simple. very loving and sensitive as well. but for a while now ( i have lost track) hes become physical with his younger siblings. hes not over big i would say hes chunky. his siblings are 4 and 7 years old and they are like twigs. everyday i hear from one of them that he has hurt them hes had his hands round the 7 year olds neck. if im in another room for example and i hear 12 year old shout in and angry voice mediately followed by that is crying from one of the younger ones.

a short while ago i took my plate in the kitchen and put butter in the fridge. so less than one min. in this time i heard him shout 'A' move next thing shes 4 year old screaming/crying. I ask her what happend and the 12 year old has kicked her so that she fell on to her toy buggy. she had a red mark where she had fell on buggy. not a big one sort of park that would vanish in a few mins. but thats not the point...

its not even like it gos on for a while and it all builds up and he looses it. the above example i was gone less than a min. and he does not even try to verbally sort it out. if the younger kids dont do what he says the first time he says it he hurts them.

I have tried talking to him but im not getting anywhere. i have tried been nice, tried being firm, tried being angry. I was really horrible to him tonight. i told him that his not about because he was violent and willing to hurt woman and children. told him i had to leave his father make sure hes not around to hurt children. then i said believe me if you ever put a finger on the younger kids again i will make sure you leave as well. I know that was a really horrible thing to say just had enough sad

ghostspirit Thu 27-Nov-14 17:27:15

sorry i meant to say hes fathers not about because hes violent

TeenAndTween Thu 27-Nov-14 20:36:05

I think that a nature can be inherited - e.g. quick to get fired up, but that nurture - how you treat him to deal with it - can make the world of difference.

I don't really think you should be threatening to kick your 12 year old son out though (sorry), but I don't have any constructive help as no experience.

A good place to start would be to talk to him when he's calm about why he thinks he acts the way he does.

ghostspirit Thu 27-Nov-14 21:24:12

thanks you teenandtween. yes i know i was out of order for what i said. sad

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