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What does your 12 year-old do of an evening?

(90 Posts)
LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 14:26:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoganJosh Sat 25-Oct-14 14:29:00

What does her 'messing about' involve exactly?

LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 14:32:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoganJosh Sat 25-Oct-14 14:39:13

My children are younger, but it seems like you are excluding her from the way you describe it. What do your weekend daytimes look like? Would she carry on doing things from the day? Could you start her off doing something and let her then carry on? It sounds like she's attention seeking, so if you get in there first and do some thing little with her that might help

FloozeyLoozey Sat 25-Oct-14 14:39:40

She's still young, you can't expect kids to sit in silence. however tired you are, you still need to parent your child. That's par for the course.

Spooklingbrook Sat 25-Oct-14 14:40:23

At the moment he has a Year 8 homework mountain so he's busy doing that a lot.
Otherwise, he plays PS4, skypes his friends and makes videos with his camcorder.

woollyjumpers Sat 25-Oct-14 14:46:02

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LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 14:46:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 14:47:16

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TheFirstOfHerName Sat 25-Oct-14 14:49:32

He has a very set routine:
Clarinet practice.
He does not seek company or interaction.

DS1 (14) likes to have some attention, so we watch something on TV together three or four times a week, after the youngest ones have gone to bed.

RoganJosh Sat 25-Oct-14 14:49:36

How about you try and get out with DH more often in the evening for proper dates, so you're getting your time together then, other evening become more family time rather than your DD encroaching on couple time.

Spooklingbrook Sat 25-Oct-14 14:49:42

Big Bang Theory? We all watch that together.

Hassled Sat 25-Oct-14 14:49:46

DS3 watched TV with me, plays on the PC, kicks a ball against the wall of the house, plays on the PC some more. Sometimes we bake something, or he helps with supper.

Agree that sitting silently reading for the evening is going to be very few 12 year old's idea of a fun night in.

Hassled Sat 25-Oct-14 14:51:07

If your DH has no patience, has lots of work to do and dislikes the TV shows a 12 year old might like, then he needs to remove himself (upstairs?) and be silent elsewhere. It seems to be all about what he wants.

TheFirstOfHerName Sat 25-Oct-14 14:51:48

At the moment, DS1 and I are working our way through a (dire) made-for-TV adaptation of The Odyssey. Sometimes we have to pause it because we are laughing so much at the overacting.

Before that it was Green Wing (which might be a bit grown-up for your 12 year old).

CurlyWurlyCake Sat 25-Oct-14 14:56:34

My 12 yr old like lying on the floor, doing hand stands against the wall, instagraming and making videos with her little sisters.

She mooches to her room around 9pm to read and is generally asleep for 10pm.

CrispyFern Sat 25-Oct-14 15:12:38

Minecraft and writing in her journal. Homework, TV! Chatting about school.
It sound like your DH is a bit miserable.

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 25-Oct-14 15:19:46

Skype, tv, fb, youtube, minecraft, instagram.
We watch the soaps together, and stuff like friends or big bang
I have tried to get her to play boardgames, or cards, or cook with me but she won't.

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 25-Oct-14 15:24:13

Going out isn't a major option for us together as I have a disability and can't currently drive either, but we are going out for dinner next weekend, our local place is doing an American soul food evening, and we both love American food.

LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 15:27:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

heymammy Sat 25-Oct-14 15:28:42

11yr old dd is allowed to stay downstairs until 8:45 but if she starts complaining or trying have a carry on then she gets sent upstairs to read. Tbh it doesn't really happen as we watch something together like Friends, Modern Family or The Big Bang Theory. DP and I chat as well and she will join in if it's something that interest her (she sometimes does moan that she can't hear the telly so I just get her to put the subtitles on).

Occasionally she'll do loom bands or make buttercream icing and ice biscuits but mostly we watch comedy.

BlueberryWafer Sat 25-Oct-14 15:31:18

Sorry but I find this really sad. It's as though your daughter is a nuisance to you and your "quiet time". It's awful that she feels you don't want her around and I'm not really surprised she feels that way from what you've said.

As for rolling off the settee etc, that sounds to me like she's attention seeking because otherwise you would be completely ignoring her!

LindyHemming Sat 25-Oct-14 15:35:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 25-Oct-14 15:36:57

Sorry but it sounds to me as if she is just craving a bit of your attention. Maybe after dinner you could set aside an hour to interact with her? A board game, a movie, could you teach her a skill (knitting or baking), paint your nails together.....take turns between her and dh, her and you, and all three of you.

Does she have a bedtime? At least you can say "nine o clock into your room" which then gives you and DH some time together.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 25-Oct-14 15:38:45

Teach her some card games and play them.

Get into a Box Set - agree Big Bang Theory is a good family one.

Do the food shop one weeknight and take her along.

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