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My lovely dd is being vile please help

(7 Posts)
moldingsunbeams Mon 24-Mar-14 00:18:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moldingsunbeams Mon 24-Mar-14 00:19:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheVictorian Mon 24-Mar-14 00:43:14

Why is she being this way? do you have more of a detailed back story? the who,what,where,when,why?

LastingLight Mon 24-Mar-14 08:03:18

How old is she? Going to live somewhere else? I would respond "That's nice dear, can I help you pack your bags?" The most important thing is to be calm. (Which I cannot always pull off.) E.g. "DD, if you're homework isn't done properly by 17:00 then no tv tonight." DD kicks off. "DD, if you continue this behaviour then no tv tomorrow night either". Then stick to your guns. Don't give in to please for tv or whatever other privilege you removed. Very importantly, reward good behaviour. "DD, thank you for folding the laundry, it is very helpful when every member of the family contributes". Find reasons to compliment her (when you can honestly do so) e.g. "DD you were very patient with your brother, I appreciate it". You can also have an arranged system of rewards e.g. "DD if you unpack the dishwasher every weeknight without being nagged and without complaint then on Saturday you can have a milkshake / lift to a friend / extra hour on the Ipad".

gonemad43 Wed 26-Mar-14 14:29:00

my daughter says that every now and again and I ask her dad to get suitcase down if she wants.... my dd is vile to me too and after having posting a thread had some very useful comments, I agree with lasting light stick to your guns although I did that with my dd fone and she weren't bothered even after a week! I have tried asking her when she gets angry if she would like a hug, she seems to stop in her tracks and asks why!! lol it stops her from shouting... It is hard, I even spoke to her teacher and asked him to talk to her and now she knows we are in touch she can not play home against school. Stay calm smile

Nocomet Wed 26-Mar-14 14:47:49

Ignore what can be ignored
Firm boundaries for what can't (short sharp punishments, long removal of lap tops or grounding just causes resentment)
No trying to reason when in a strop.
Lots of love, talking and cuddles when she's not.

9-11 year-olds want more control over their lives than they are ready for and they vent their frustrations over the post ridiculous things (basically, just like a lot of 6-7y) they revert to being toddlers.

The trick is to find choices they can make and little freedoms they can have and add to them slowly up to them going into Y7.

Really simple things like choosing KFC or Mc Donald's on a day out, swimming or the cinema, a few minutes home alone or walking to the shop.

DD2 felt really hemmed in by being the perfect pupil and the perfect friend at school and the above is what we found stopped her being impossible at home.

Nocomet Wed 26-Mar-14 14:48:47

Post most ridiculous things

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