11 year old evening party invite.

[reallysayingsomething]

Hey. My 11 year old son has a party invite from a girl at school. We don't know her or the parents, it is 10 miles away and goes on till 11pm. I have said no. He is livid. What do others think?

[MmeMorrible]

Why did you say no?

[reallysayingsomething]

Because I do not know any other kids going and it would mean a trek out to collect with my 6 year old.
I just want an idea what others think. All new to me parties. He has only had the usual cinema/ bowling/pizza parties before.
Not evening house party.

[Technical]

What is the party? How good a friend is it?

What night is it? i.e. Late Thursday is better than Monday

Is there a reason it needs to be midweek and/or go on so late?

Is he yr6 or 7?

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Could you team up with another parent and you do the drop off and they do the pick up?

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Where does it say midweek?

[reallysayingsomething]

It is a 12th birthday party. The girl is in another form at school (year 7). He does not know her particularly well. I do not know the girl, the parents or anyone else going. It is a Thursday night.

[Technical]

No idea! Somewhere in my head!

Other questions stand though.

[Meow75]

Just because the party goes on till 11pm doesn't mean he has to stay that late. What time does it start? Negotiate an earlier time with him if you want. If he thinks it'll be embarrassing to be picked up earlier, tell him it's better than not going at all. You can always engineer an "early morning" commitment for the following day that enforces the early pick up.

Then let him choose - short party or no party.

[Technical]

I think I'd say no in those circumstances too unless (maybe) he had good friends i did know going and I had discussed it with their parents

[reallysayingsomething]

Sorry Friday. Got dates muddled. It is a house party. No nobody to lift share with as I don't know anybody else going

[AChickenCalledKorma]

I would absolutely have said no. That's a ludicrous time for a 12yo party to finish.

[Newyearchanger]

Sounds like the host considered sleepover then a mixed party instead and it turned into 11 pm...daft idea

[usualsuspect33]

I'd say yes and pick up earlier.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

I bet you won't be the only parent who doesn't want to fanny around doing pick ups at 11pm. House party for a 12 year old? Seriously how does that work?

[reallysayingsomething]

Thanks for all the replies. My instinct is no. I think it is bit too soon for late party and that my 6 year old would have to be dragged out. Meaning she will be tired and crap the next day..... I am struggling with letting him have independence versus that he is still only 11.

[galletti]

Call the parents for a friendly chat/more info?

[galletti]

And I would say yes with earlier pick up too.

[CheckpointCharlie]

Hmmmmm. My dd has had sleepovers and I know she hasn't gone to sleep at 11 but for some reason I don't like the idea of a child's party officially finishing at 11.

I think it's a bit odd. I wouldn't let her/him stay that late, esp if you have to take a younger child to pick them up.

11 is nowhere near old enough for that kind if independence if you ask me. My dd who is 11 goes to bed at half eight!

[usualsuspect33]

I don't think the occasional late night is a problem.

The picking up and dropping off can be a problem if they live that far away from their school friends.

[Nocomet]

10 mile 9/10pm pick ups happen several times a week here (fact of rural life/having best friends from a different county), but I'd be a bit about 11pm not knowing the parents.

I guess late starting sleepover with the boys being chucked out after a DVD or something. Not very concederate for collecting parents.

[Nocomet]

Both DDs quite often went to bed at that time on a school night, so that doesn't bother me.

Trying to find strange houses, in places I don't know and collect DCs who will be hyper and will wake the neighbours does.

[usualsuspect33]

But surely at secondary school they will go to loads of strange houses?