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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Never enough

5 replies

wallypops · 07/01/2014 20:04

My about to be 8 year old DD has been offered various choices for her birthday "party". I suggested taking a few friends to either the cinema or skating, but while she likes the idea she said that the problem with them is that she would then only get a few presents. So she'd rather have a big party based on what she would get out it. I hate this, and I while it might be normal to have this as an internal thought at 8, the fact that she talks like this is upsetting. At christmas, she pretty much counted her presents under the tree daily and we had huge sulks if she thought her elder sister had got more than her. It makes me not want to bother, as it is never enough to satisfy her. Any advice on tackling this would be much appreciated.

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LastingLight · 08/01/2014 06:45

Tell her she can have x number of guests and if she sulks about it, no party at all.

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2kidsintow · 11/01/2014 17:26

We've always been open with our DDs (past a certain age) that if they have a big party then they will have a smaller main present and if they have a smaller party then they can have a bigger present. They are always told what the limit would be on the parties (basically whatever I can get at that venue for approx £100).

For us, however, it worked the other way. DD1 is naturally a quiet personality and isn't very outgoing. She stopped having big (10 kids) parties at age 7 and didn't would have just a friend or two to do something instead.... and she knew she could ask for a DS or whatever that year.

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wallypops · 12/01/2014 09:41

LastingLight that's what I did.
2kidsintow - I like that solution.

I have come up with a solution, and it has turned out that she has decided to limit those coming. I have asked the local riding centre where she and her DD1 have lessons if they would be willing to organise a mounted treasure hunt. They have agreed - and I have gained cool mummy status - and they are happy because of course it is a very marketable idea!! And my DD has decided to limit invites to those that can ride - and has only invited 5 people. As it is v short notice, and at a rather weird time - morning and not afternoon they may not all be able to come.

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LastingLight · 12/01/2014 13:47

As a rider myself I think that's an awesome idea! Hope they enjoy it lots.

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2kidsintow · 12/01/2014 13:58

Sounds fun. Fab Mummy status much deserved. :)

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