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10 year old daughter keeps lying

(3 Posts)
xxEms147xx Sat 28-Dec-13 18:41:38

My ten year old daughter will not stop lying. It’s endless and exhausting. I am at the end of my tether. I sent her to be bed with no dinner at 5pm tonight because I’ve had a day of it and cannot cope anymore.
She lies about what she sees or does at school, she lies about doing her chores, she even lies when she’s caught out. If I catch her lying I tell her so and there is a punishment, like no iPod or radio etc.
The problem is, I am an HR manager and am used to having people coming in and lying to me on a regular basis, so not only do I “just know” because I’m her mother, I am also well versed in watching grown men spin a yarn or two. Whilst this is very useful for my girlfriends who want me to vet their prospective boyfriends, it means she can’t get anything past me.
I don’t know what to do now. We are getting into endless arguments with her about it. She screams and cries, expresses remorse and regret. Says she doesn’t know why she does it, says she is unhappy doing it…. But still it goes on.
Please, please does anyone have any practical advice?

supermariossister Sat 28-Dec-13 18:52:24

practically I would keep doing what you are doing, you lied about x so you don't get y whether that be time on iPod or whatever else it is. the lying about things at school unless they directly effect something I would ignore so she doesn't get a reaction. I don't really see what you hope to gain by sending her to bed with no dinner apart from a hungry child who will be grumpier than ever. It is very hard I have one who lies often but find that removing priveleges works better than sending to bed etc

mumtobealloveragain Sat 28-Dec-13 20:07:25

I think this is far more common than you'd first think. My daughter is around the same age and she lies too. Her lies aren't about big things or important things, they are almost always massive exaggerations or lies about pointless things. For example, she will sometimes tell me that she had nobody to talk to at breaktime and then later tell me about how her and a group of girls played skipping. Or she will say she watched X on tv when I know she actually watched Y. Her lies don't gain her anything or et he out of trouble, they are totally pointless. It appears to be a common thing in girls of this age. My opinion is that they enjoy the idea that they have "one up" over the grownups, testing their ability to lie and using their imaginations.

It drives me bonkers but we just nod and smile now I've heard lots of other mums say it's very common at this age x

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