Letting my 11 year old get her nose pierced, very worried!

[Saffan]

I have a 11 year old daughter who is very sweet and sensible. Two whole years ago she started wanting her nose pierced, I said no way and she has kept bringing it up almost every day since then!

Four months ago I asked her what she wanted for christmas and she said her nose pierced. I ended up agreeing that she can have her nose pierced for christmas between christmas day and new years but she'll get no other presents. So now it's 5 days before christmas and I've only got her half a dozen little things and I'm panicking!

I'm not worried about the piercing, she's very sensible and I have one myself. Just what are people going to think of me!? People are going to stare at her, then at me and think I'm a terrible mother, she's only in primary school. My DH thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion and is no help at all.

I'm sure I don't want to stop her now but what do I do? What would you do? I just can't sleep I can't stop thinking about it. What would you think about a mother letting her 11 year old pierce her nose? What should I do?

[RoseRedder]

I think you have answered your own question

It's also very likely the school asked for it to be remove

Personally I think you are being a daft saying she can have her nose piereced she's in primary school

[Saffan]

Hi Rose

I asked the school before and was told it's ok if it's a silver or gold stud.

I know I'm daft and batty.

[RoseRedder]

also no reputable piercing study will pierce an 11 year old

[RoseRedder]

are you in the uk?

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I would judge you, I know I would.

Sorry.

[MummaMeerkat]

The decision will be taken out of your hands as it is illegal before 16 even with parental consent

[everydayaschoolday]

I can't tell you what you should do, and I'd like to think I wouldn't judge you as each to their own.

But I won't let my 2 DDs have a nose piercing when they reach 11YO, and at 2 and 5 they don't have their ears pierced yet either. I am quite conservative though and I expect many others will have a more liberal view.

[everydayaschoolday]

oh perhaps not, reading all the replies since I've been drafting….

[FixItUpChappie]

I got my nose pierced when I was 16. I had to take it out so much for work I just stopped putting it in.

Though on the whole I don't think a little stud is a big deal, I do think 11 years old is too young. I was still secretly playing with barbies at 11.....kids seem to be propelling into teendom far earlier these days. Still, no need to encourage it.

[RiaOverTheRainbow]

Her primary school may allow it but what about secondary? Get her some fake ones.

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

No WAY would I let DD do that - but then again no way would I have my own nose pierced either! OP do youthink she wants to get it done because you have one?

DD1 will be allowed to have her ears pierced in the summer between Y6 and Y7. I'm afraid I would be a bit about your decision.

[madwomanintheatt1c]

I can't believe you said yes.

People will judge, rightly.

She is a child.

Even in the Hindu culture, nose piercings are reserved for those of marriageable (childbearing) age.

11?

Really?

I don't care how sweet and sensible you think she is, an 11yo getting a nose piercing is neither sweet nor sensible. It says 'my mum has brainwashed me into thinking this is a socially cool thing to do for a kid, and hasn't taught me any of the downsides to facial piercings in white British culture that at 11 I have so far been sheltered from'.

Tell her you'll discuss it with her again when she is 16, and not before.

Silly. My assumption is that this is a bored made up thread to while away an evening.

[MistressDeeCee]

^^^ This. Exactly.

[SqueakyCleanLibertine]

Have you looked into where she would get it done? If she can't have it what the Jeff are you going to do about presents?!

Think you folded a bit easy on this one tbh op. She must have seen a chink in your armour to go on and on like that, let's hope she doesn't want a tattoo at 15 eh?!

[DingDongHairyPOnHigh]

The 12yr old in my street currently has; her tongue, her belly button, 2 lip piercings, her ears stretched and her tragus pierced.

I judge her parents.

11 is too young in my opinion. I would judge I'm afraid.

[arfishy]

I would be a bit judgy about it but then I am old and a bit po-faced about piercings anyway, DD is 11 and not allowed to have her ears pierced yet.

If it's illegal then the decision is out of your hands surely?

[ChubbyKitty]

It would most definitely be illegal so highly unlikely anywhere worth their salt would do it. And anywhere willing to do it is not a place I would want sticking anything in my face.

I am quite liberal about these things, I have many tattoos and piercings(although mostly taken out now because of work) and my own mother was the same. But not at 11, I know it will be hard to break it to her but it's really for the best that she waits.

[pinkyredrose]

It is most definitely NOT illegal!!!!

As she's wanted it for 2 yrs and you're confident she'll look after it then what's the problem?

[Sunflower49]

What is the difference between a nose piercing, and ear piercing?People judge one, not the other.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

Is it illegal now? I had my navel pierced at 14 but that was 18 years ago. When did the law change?

[crispsanddips]

I have a nose piercing, I don't think there is much difference between a nose and an ear piercing. My nose piercing has never got caught but my earrings have got caught in the past. My ears got infected three times but my nose never has.

Also, if she changes her mind, the hole is usually so tiny, or heals up completely, it is not noticeable.

I remember when I was 11 and the craze was for belly button piercings, which I never got.

I would be worried about her being made to take it out for PE though, the nose is very sensitive and the removing of the stud could aggravate the area. Practically, maybe not a good idea. And (in personal experience) a nose heals up a lot faster than ears. When I first got my nose pierced, the stud wasn't a good one and would fall out in the night. I always had to poke it back through a thin veil of skin to get it back in- ouch!

[madwomanintheatt1c]

Sunflower, the difference is, people judge one, and not the other. One has become a social norm in white British culture, and one has not. Ergo, people judge because it's not a social norm. (And because they are aware that other people judge. And because they are aware of culturally acceptable behaviours and rules in schools, employment etc).

Culture is a funny old thing.

Possibly, nose piercings will be entirely mainstream in twenty years, and will be seen on high court judges and whatnot. But, not yet. Currently it's still the preserve of those wishing to look a bit different, for whatever reason. It's chicken and egg - are (white British) women with facial piercings discriminated in their journey to become professionals, or are they not interested in conservative (small c) employment? Either way, 11 is not old enough to be able to discriminate on such matters at a personal level.

I think studios are a bit more reluctant to do work on minors since that silly girl persuaded the guy to do those stars all over her face.

[crispsanddips]

I don't think nose studs are the preserve of those wishing to look different, I do think they are mainstream in white, British culture. Maybe not as mainstream as earpiercings but they are as common as tattoos imo.

Out of social circle, I am definitely in the minority by not having a tattoo.
:)