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Do you let your 12 year olds take phones, laptops etc to bed?

(26 Posts)
sandyballs Fri 18-Oct-13 11:55:23

I'm surprised how many of DDs' friends text really late at night or put stuff on facebook at 11, 12pm even later, and this is on school nights, I'm not fussed about weekends.

My DDs say that all their friends don't have a controlling mother like me who makes them leave their electronic stuff downstairs at night. But they're 12, not 16, they're growing madly, and need their sleep.

It's not just me is it?

MaddAddam Fri 18-Oct-13 11:57:43

My 12yo's laptop goes off at 9pm til 7am. Her friends aren't mostly allowed on Facebook, and aren't online late at night.

13yo's friends were more unrestrained at 12-13, and post late at night on Facebook (but my 13yo has the same electronic curfew as my 12yo).

I don't think it's usually true that all the others are allowed, I talk quite a lot to other parents with children this age and we are mostly fairly firm on this. We band together!

MadameDefarge Fri 18-Oct-13 12:06:40

DS 13 has no phone (banned at school, so kinda pointless to have one) laptop out of action so no bedroom use (am loath to get a new cable) PC usage when I am there, and off at 9pm.

But I am very relaxed about how much time he spends on the pc. As long as the homework is done....

OldBeanbagz Fri 18-Oct-13 12:07:14

DD is allowed her phone in her room at night but it's on 'Do Not Disturb' mode so she's not woken by texts at odd hours. She uses it as her alarm clock.

After a meltdown a few weeks ago, even she realises that she needs her sleep at the moment.

Your DD isn't the only one with a controlling mother as my DC aren't allowed to play on their iPads from Monday mornings until they get home from school on Fridays.

lljkk Fri 18-Oct-13 12:09:41

Dd didn't sleep enough before she had a phone, it wouldn't make a difference if I did take it off her. House Wifi goes off at 9pm, though she could still text like mad. Didn't my generation use to smuggle house phones on extension cords into our rooms at that age? DS is 9yo & smuggles torches under covers even now to read comics until late.

willyoulistentome Fri 18-Oct-13 12:14:04

My son (10) wants his iPod in bed. He's NOT getting it! (Not till he passes his A'Levels grin)

I don't care what his friends parents let them do. He's a bit gullible and believes them when they say they go to bed at 02:00 am every day.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 18-Oct-13 12:32:57

Mine just got used to the rule of nothing in bedrooms and they are still like this at 22 and 18.
Bed is for winding down and sleeping, you can't do this in front of a screen.
DD is 9 and allowed a little bit of music or can read but no screens in bedroom either.

hoolahoolagirl Fri 18-Oct-13 13:07:53

My DD is almost twelve and is not allowed to take her phone or ipod up to bed with her. I too am amazed that some children are texting so late at night.
We had an incident recently where I heard my daughters phone ringing at 11:30pm on a school night just as I was falling asleep in bed! (We had forgotten to put the phone on silent as we usually do to stop our evening being disturbed by the constant bleeping) then we heard a text message come through...I was so concerned about it I got up to check her phone and it was a girl from school that she barely knows saying "Are you awake? I'm bored." !!!!!! blush
I really had to stop myself sending a sarcastic message back!
The kids at this age need all the sleep they can get and phones and iPods are too distracting. Luckily my DD doesn't seem bothered about not taking the gadgets to bed, I think she actually enjoys the break from it all...

Notmyidea Fri 18-Oct-13 19:52:34

Have recently had to start insisting mine leave their phones downstairs because of texts arriving at all hours. From one friend in particular who has quite a chaotic lifestyle. No, you're not the only one

specialsubject Fri 18-Oct-13 20:58:33

kids lie.

it is terrible 'sleep hygiene' for everyone, adult or child, to have a phone or screen in the bedroom. Turn the damn things off.

TeenAndTween Sun 20-Oct-13 15:20:37

DD 14.
Phone downstairs in schoolbag overnight.
Laptop in bedroom for HW only, things like facebook blocked.
Downstairs communal laptop for browsing.

imo Children don't need phones in bedroom to act as alarm clock. They need an alarm clock.

Pagwatch Sun 20-Oct-13 15:26:21

It's an awful idea. They don't have screen time before bed.

5madthings Sun 20-Oct-13 15:28:53

my eldest two are 14 and 12 and phones are given to us at 8:30pm no laptops etc in bedrooms, evil mother.

Ragwort Sun 20-Oct-13 15:32:31

No. Mobile phone is taken off DS (now 12) when he goes to bed (9pm) or when he doing homework.

Don't believe everything they tell you; DS told me he was the 'only' child in Y6 at primary without a phone, on checking with a few of my friends who had Y6 children it was clearly not true grin. Equally one of the other mums had been told that my DS had a iphone grin.

meditrina Sun 20-Oct-13 16:15:31

Laptops stay downstairs (so Embarrassing Parent can look over a shoulder at any time).

Mobiles are basic bricks, and neither teen nor preteen has a texting habit, I don't feel the need to police those.

Kindle OK for bedtime reading, and handheld games consoles permitted if no school the next day.

TheSnowFairy Sun 20-Oct-13 16:16:34

11 year old DS is allowed one hour of kindle fire time between 7-8 and then has to bring it downstairs - he can read til 9pm then it's lights off.

In hindsight, we should have bought the basic kindle instead as both DS's (11 and 9) use them for Minecraft not reading!

TheSnowFairy Sun 20-Oct-13 16:18:37

PS and laptop stays downstairs, and he has a brick mobile which he doesn't seem too interested in using to text or call (unless it's to me, asking for a lift).

Am sure this will change when he meets a girl...

Thingymajigs Sun 20-Oct-13 16:25:01

I'm generally a bit lax about screen time as long as they still do what's asked of them and don't become grumpy. But ds1 (13) always has to hand his phone to me just before bed. He has tried the alarm clock excuse several times but I wasn't born yesterday. He would just text all night if it wasn't confiscated.

sandyballs Sun 20-Oct-13 22:45:25

Thanks all feel better now grin

Hulababy Mon 21-Oct-13 21:47:10

DD is 11y but no, she isnt't allowed to use her phone or iPad at bedtime. Sometimes they may be in her room charging , but they are on silent and not near her. They are on the bedside table but she in in a top bunk = so not in reach.

I have noticed a couple of DDs friends who use theirs late at night, but most don't. One was doing it in secret and got caught - parents made sure all her friends knew too, so they all know it is not just their mum who lays down the law.

Hulababy Mon 21-Oct-13 21:48:28

Forgot Kindle - DD has then right next to her bed and reads every night She never uses it for the Internet. It's a basic Kindle so the Internet is not really very usable tbh.

NoComet Mon 21-Oct-13 22:13:11

Yes so long as she doesn't text the friend who's mother dropped very nice hints about very late texts.

DD swears it wasn't sent that late.

She may be telling the truth, our coverage is random and I should think her friend's is worse.

In any case stupidly late bed last night was caused by DD1(15) going in and reading her Twilight in silly voices. So even if I'd gathered up the gadgets they would still have been awake.

I was in the study writing a absence letter for she hasn't bothered to hand in.

jennifersofia Wed 23-Oct-13 14:30:20

8:30 - no phone, no computer in room. CD / basic ipod for music and DS allowed.

valiumredhead Mon 28-Oct-13 13:15:04

All screens apart from Telly off at 7.30 and phone to be left downstairs at night.

Lucyadams184 Tue 29-Oct-13 15:16:26

I don't let my kids have anything in their room otherwise they wouldn't go to sleep. I let them take their tablet up but just for 10 minutes and then I go up and get them and it's lights out.

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