I smacked my son

[Bex593]

ok,so ds is 10 and we are experiencing a lot of the behavioural problems discussed in many of the threads in this section - rudeness, disrespectful, argumentative, answering back with smart comments, mood swings, refusing to eat his tea etc etc etc. We feel we are walking on eggshells around him. This has been getting increasingly worse over the a number of months and having read many of these threads, I am already using techniques such as restricting use of ipod, priveleges removed, and sending him to his room until his attitude improves. I am really pleased to say that outside the home, at school or with other relatives, he is well behaved and polite.
However, a couple of weeks ago he was in one of his moods and after dealing with it calmly for over an hour, he pushed me to my limit and I snapped and hit him. I can't tell you how dreadful I feel for it and my husband and I went into school the very next day to make them aware of the situation. I have also been in contact with NSPCC and Relate, all of whom have been incredibly supportive.
My family have threatened to report us and have written a letter to school asking them to take further action against us. They have also asked ds to keep a food diary and have openly criticised my removing priveleges and other areas of my parenting.
Whilst school have said we are doing above and beyond what a lot of parents would do in the same situation, it seems that my family have turned against us at a time where we could do with their support. They say they are supporting us, but I'm not sure how this constitutes support :(

[BlackSwan]

How did you hit him? Open hand or closed? Where did you hit him and what happened next?

Why a food diary? Are your family suggesting you're not feeding your son properly & if so, why?

Sorry only questions!

[merrymonsters]

I think too many punishments can lead to a downward spiral and it makes relationships worse. I think children feel 'got at' and unfairly punished. He probably also feels that you don't like him.

Why isn't he allowed to argue or disagree with you? Why can't he have opinions. Calling you rude names would be unacceptable, but surely he's not a soldier who always has to agree with everything you say. Maybe you could lighten up a bit and only punish really serious things.